Not seeing anything she objects with right now Draco, a nice backstory and it should be fine in her book. Maybe a little extra detail on the true form shadow appearance, otherwise sounds fine to her. 

Shes gonna be blunt here, dont nitpick her speech habits. How she speaks/types/whatever is very much not a deliberate thing and she gets enough shit about it on a day to day basis and have for a long time, that she really has no patience what so ever for it. Theres not a lot of stuff that really gets under her skin, but bothering her about her speech is one of them. [s]Shes always fully aware this comment probably comes off as snappish but she really does find it incredibly irksome.[/s]