[quote=Makatsume Haru]
So, Sundered Echo, I was wondering. Do you think my character is at least something credible? Anticipation's been killing me.
[/quote]

The space pirate attack is actually a pretty great example of a solution to the issues of having Quarian characters outside of the Migrant Fleet, and I think it works reasonably well. Not sure how Derv or Sunny feel about the pervo Turian, it seems a little strange, but I don't think it's entirely unrealistic. AS someone who has used the corrupt, irrevocably immoral politician trope for their own character backstory, maybe I'm giving it too much credit, but we'll have to see what Derv thinks about it. 

You definitely should look over the backstory some more though. Take some time, sit down and just read it all through, slowly and carefully. There's a lot of run-on sentences and sort of partial thoughts, and it can make it a bit difficult to follow the flow of the story. Not trying to go all English-teacher on you, but I think it'll make your story much more readable and easy to parse. A thoughtful editing process might also give you more insight into the character and their motivations.