I made some changes to Daryna's character sheet. A quick TL;DR to what I changed and what I kept the same:
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1. Made the reason for Era and Tivan's exile clearer. The Hanar was basically just an angry brat. Also changed Khel Galdor 'leaving' the pirates to 'deserting' to help explain the divide caused by Ravanor irdon killing Daryna's parents.

2. I understand the special snowflake concern with her disease, but then again Drell are kind of the "special snowflake" aliens of the galaxy considering they make up a tiny percent (maybe half a million among the galaxy's trillions) of the population. So a rare disease among a rare species isn't that unusual, IMO.

3. I did dial back her early power, now she only excelled in manipulate instead of all biotic ability. But the reason that she is such a good biotic (as well as why she has a debilitating disease combined with a shortened lifespan) is because the Batarian scientist gave her dangerous and unethical combinations and amounts of drugs to boost the potency of the eezo. Considering Omega's atmosphere it's possible the Batarian experimented on and killed countless babies before he partially succeeded with Daryna.

4. I developed Jarr and Daryna's relationship. He wasn't tutoring Daryna so much as dragging her around with him as a favor for his nephew Galdor. He didn't care where he brought her.

5. The dominate would be limited. I'm thinking an hour at most for weak minded people, a tenth of that for stronger people. The more complicated the task, the less people she can manipulate (she can make ten soldiers close their eyes so she can sneak past them, but she can't make ten soldiers shoot each other). Her Manipulating ability isn't limitless, but then again it's her only major talent. Combined with her disabilities (which aren't a sideshow, I plan for them to be a real factor in the RP) I think it's justified as it stands,

6. Her love of thievery is explained partially because her family needs the money and partially because she was raised in an amoral household. It was always understood that crime was sometimes necessary with Weliyah and Galdor and even Jarr. 
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