[b]+\[u] NSEA [i]Protector II[/i], command deck .[/u][/b]
Five actors burst onto the command deck, Alexander bringing up the rear. Fred had already gone to his duty station in the engine room. The door closed behind Alexander with an annoyingly accurate click-hum-(pause)-click. Thermians littered the wings of the command deck, carrying clipboards, studying screens on the periphery, and walking about with no real destination. Alexander had to wonder if they were actually doing anything, or just imitating what the extras on set used to do. For a species that didn't understand the concept of acting, their imitation was remarkably precise.

As the actors climbed onto their stations, Jason asked, "All right, what have we got?" He was doing his "Commander" pose, sitting on the Commander's Chair with one hand on his knee and the other on his chin.
"20 ships near us, Ja- uh, Commander," Tommy reported.

"Dr. Lazarus." one of the Thermians said. Oh, God. It was Quellek. "I've retreived a fascinating sensor reading from the nearby ships. Perhaps you could examine it." Quellek handed Alexander a 10 inch diameter, bright orange plastic hexagon. "It's uploaded on this data hexagon."
"...Ah," Alexander said, taking the ludicrously oversized storage device. He glanced around briefly. Jason was still in his Commander pose, barking orders as if he knew what he was doing. Damn. 

After fumbling for a few seconds, he managed to place the disk into its port. A tube extruded itself from the top of his console. He rolled his eyes. Quellek was still standing right next to him, waiting, blabbering on about prograde gamma spins giving off an unusual radiation signature dectectable on some of the ships. Alexander gave up and peered into the "Science Scope". It had an official name, of course, but he didn't care. [url=http://udn.epicgames.com/Three/rsrc/Three/ParticleSystemReferenceCH/psys_sphere.gif]This is what he saw.[/url] Honestly, he didn't know what he was expecting. Thankfully, the computer interrupted him.

"Begin transmission playback," it said.
[i]"-fied vessels. By the power given to me by the Supreme Emperor of the Galactic Empire I hereby order you to declare yourselves immediately and to stand down and enter formation with the nearest Cruiser. From there you will be boarded to ensure that you do not pose a threat to the peoples of Coruscant. Do you comply with these orders?"[/i]
"Mathesar-" Jason started.
"Next transmission," the computer stated.
[i]"I repeat to all vessels, stand down and prepare for inspection. It will be a brief scan aboard your ships to ensure that your vessels are not harboring war criminals of the Empire. This is non-negotiable and diplomatic solutions can be explored. We are willing to offer both technical and medical support. We are also willing to help you in order to discover the location of your respective homeworlds. However be warned that the Empires reach expands throughout the entire Galaxy. You do not wish to be our enemy."[/i]

Happy to have someone to distract the Thermians with, Alexander said, "What, did you forget where the 'accept call' button was?" Gwen only glared at him.

"Mathesar, who is this guy?" Jason asked.
"Mmm. I do not know," he said.
"Can we go home yet?" Guy asked.
"Do I look like I know where Earth is?" Tommy retorted.
"Well, maybe we should ask that guy," Gwen said.
"Did you guys [i]listen[/i] to the transmission? 1: British accent. 2: Galactic [b]Empire[/b]. 3: Supreme ruler!" Guy said. The cast stared at him, waiting.

After a moment, Jason spoke again. "Computer, can you plot- oh, right. Gwen, see if the computer can plot a course to Earth."
"Computer, can you calculate a course to Earth?"
"Yes. Approximate travel time: 4,328 years."

"Oh, that's just wonderful. You've stranded us," Alexander said to Jason.
"I don't- I didn't-." Jason stammered. 

A chirping, high-pitched alarm sounded.

"Warning. Proximity alert. Pull up," The computer said.

A rather ruined saucer section loomed in front of the view screens.

"Tommy! Turn the ship!"
"I'm trying, man, I'm trying!"

Alexander held on to his console for dear life. A horrible scraping, screeching noise came from somewhere aft. "Do you just enjoy making us cringe, or do you like that sound?" he asked.

The Protector cleared the Magicienne's saucer section with minor damage and significant chipping of paint. The saucer section came out the other side with a noticeable spin and even more hull breaches.