[quote=KiraTheRogue]-snip-
[/quote]

[i] Hey there! Nice character so far; but I have a few things that if you can change- would make it even better! 

1) Are you familiar with the Harvest Moon type of life style? If not, I'd take a few minutes to kind of look over some things about it. Though your back story is good; it's a bit TOO dark- and doesn't fit the real feel that we are going with this role play. I'd recommend picking one thing out of your several if it really needs it in your history- if not; if you can lighten it up we'd appreciate it! (If you need help or more guide lines on what I mean, just ask)

2) I know we all make mistakes with spelling and grammar but you have several that are very noticeable.

Thanks! Fix those things and then we can go from there. [/i]