[quote=Boboclown89]
alright, editedAlso, I play LoL and Dota, and used to play Smite, but I don't play that anymore. I play Dota more because you can play with all the heroes without having to use in-game currency, but in LoL it's refreshing to play a game with it's art style, and it's different heroes. I haven't bought any heroes yet, but my favorite one is Annie :3my favorite Dota character would have to be Earthshaker, Night Stalker, and that voodoo guy I can't remember the name of but he heals people and lolz
[/quote]

You still have one spacing problem. Add a gap here (there are also typos, edited in the quote below):

[quote]Dan Evary laid back in the fields outside of town. He often did this, as it was far away from the crowds and the people. His friend was also there, and they were talking. Talking about what? Anything that came to mind, really. He liked having long conversations about anything with friends and other close people he trusted, it was calming and relieved his nerves. When they were talking, his friend got a call on his phone. He answered it and responded to the person's questions.

"I have to go, bye Dan." he said finally as he put away his phone and began getting up.
<Here>
"Bye." he said simply, nothing else needed to be said. As his friend left, he packed up his things and headed back to town, as well. He caught a bus and sat on it, when he got a text on his phone. He was sitting at the back of the bus where no one else was sitting. "Murdered girl found outside of Academy." the text read, surprising Dan. He got off at the crime scene instead of his apartment.

When he saw it, his reaction was shock and surprise. To think someone had been murdered at the Academy... unthinkable, but it was true. He hoped to play a role in helping out, he'd been told by his friends that he was observant, and he hoped that would come true.
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The name of the hero is Witch Doctor, love that hero. You can troll other players so hard with him :))