First off, I apologize. This thing is [b]long[/b].

Second off, I apologize. This took forever and I really didn't mean for it to. I guess I needed to scrape off some of the rust as I haven't actually RPed or written anything since February. 

[b]Third... Uh.... I'm really sorry if this requires a post of its own. It's 35743 Characters. As quoting in this site absolutely sucks, [url=http://pastebin.com/306ChqZW]here's a raw version[/url].[/b]

Going to break the rules on purpose here and double post. Without further adieu: