And now may I present to you: A Song of Ice and Fire, Featuring FreshTaaj.

Flashback to 2011. Taaj is a little freshman in college. It's January, about 4F outside. Little FreshTaaj decides to take a nice warm shower. Ten minutes in, having just applied conditioner to my luscious locks---

THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM GOES OFF. 

FreshTaaj shakes her head, marveling at her bad luck, then calmly grabs her bathrobe, dons it, and rushes to the door. The building definitely smells like smoke, so there's no time to waste! FreshTaaj panics and decides to... Go down the fire escape stairs. 

There are two- nay, THREE- issues with this.

1. FreshTaaj has no shoes on.
2. The stairs are METAL
3. FRESHTAAJ IS ON THE THIRD FLOOR.

FreshTaaj don't care. FreshTaaj don't give a shit. FreshTaaj goes down those stairs like a fucking champ, streaming steaming water that will surely become ice in a matter of minutes. 

FreshTaaj joins the gaggle of other fresh-girls on the freezing ground to watch the building burn down. Just kidding, the source of the "blaze" was simple: A dumb blonde chick got too caught up watching Jersey Shore to notice that her Easy Mac was literally ON FIRE and EXPLODING in the microwave. (Seriously.)

Ah, well. Before being given the all-clear to go back inside the building, FreshTaaj finds that she has friends who will let her stand on their booted feet so her bare toesies won't freeze off in the ice and snow. One friend offers a piggy-back ride, but FreshTaaj gently reminds her that beneath her bathrobe, she is naked. So a piggy back wouldn't be favorable. (Had my friends not been so kind and innocent, they may have chosen to dub me "Ice Pussy.")

After fifteen minutes, FreshTaaj and her generous friends are given the all-clear to return to their smokey home. FreshTaaj gratefully bounds up the carpeted interior steps and resumes her shower. Not a single fuck given.

TL;DR: FreshTaaj is a badasshoneybadgericepussywinterconquering bitch.