[quote=BlackCat]
My Power! : - Whatever I attach my puppet string to becomes a puppet for me
[/quote]
This power is too abusable as it is. It needs to modified somehow, either include some kind of limitations so you can’t just body jack anyone, anytime, or maybe change the power to manipulating only the inanimate instead. The other thing is there are a few grammar mistakes and punctuation mistakes that just will not do. The character skeleton is a little on the short side as well. Character on hold for now.
[quote=DreadPirate]
World Beware My Power! : I have what I like to call a - I can persuade anybody to do anything. (Can turn on and off, his eyes turn bright green when in use.
[/quote]
As with BlackCat above this power DreadPirate is too powerful. Mind control like abilities are hard to effectively roleplay since often you need permission in order to use them against other roleplayers. Even if you never use it on other roleplayers and just npcs its still quite abusable. There needs to be some kind of limitation on the power, perhaps making it more like a powerful suggestion, kind of like the traditional Jedi Mind-Trick. The other thing is the character skeleton is fairly short though that’s more of a preference thing. Character on Hold.

[quote=Pathfinder]
My Parents Gave Me This : David CreedBut 

This Sounded Cooler : KreigMy 

Parents Did Not Decide This…I Think : Male

The World Has Been Doomed for This Many Years : 20

People Think I’m Crazy But I’m Really : A cold, unfeeling, machine however not by choice. The chem injections keep his emotions dead.Why I’m so Bad : Stolen from a happy family of crime fighters, David has been trained and "improved" since the age of seven. When old enough, i.e. 15, he was given his first job and since then has seen more bloodshed and devastation than most villains see in a lifetime.

World Beware My Power! : David is the subject of highly advanced training with multiple types of weapons and at the age of 10 his augmentations were grafted. These augments make him the peak and beyond what a human can obtain.
- Advanced material grafting onto skeletal structures to make bones virtually unbreakable.
- Protein complex is injected intramuscularly to increase tissue density and decrease lactase recovery time.
- Platinum pellet containing human growth hormone catalyst is implanted in the thyroid to boost growth of skeletal and muscle tissues.
- Submergence and boosted blood vessel flow beneath the rods and cones of the subject's retina. Produces a marked visual perception increase.
- Alteration of bioeletrical nerve transduction to shielded electronic transduction. 300% increase in subject reflexes.Random Things You May Want to Know For No Real 

Reason : David has been on the emotionally dampening chems for so long that he doesn't know how to function without them. The flow of emotions is too much for him and should he run out of chems he would become a danger and a hindrance to those around him as he lashes out from extremely strong emotions.

I’m Just That Cool : If one were too take away the surgical and battle scars, add some color to his pale skin, and put some fire into his eyes then David could be considered fairly handsome. However they are and they are here to stay. Because of his augments, David stands at 6'10 and casts an intimidating presence, especially when coupled with his armor and ghostly quiet movements. Davids skin is extremely pale due to the fact that he only leaves the confines of his armor when he needs to shave his hair, keep up with hygiene, and eating, plus it is extremely scarred from both the augmentations and general battle scars one earns from the life of a mercenary. However his eye's are the most noticeable feature of his face as they look completely dead. No emotion, no life, no fire. They are empty and soulless.
[/quote]

Now this is pretty good, such an empty soul he is. I feel I can grasp the essence of the character from the bio quite easily.

[quote=Marshmellow]
 Jensen Ericks

Well actually I'm kind of, forgettable I guess, really. Honestly, there's not a whole lot to say. The job market was in the toilet, and E.V.I.L. Inc. just seemed like a good career choice at the time. Granted, the advancement possibilities are a little... limited... I've... I've actually been working here since I was twenty years old... the pay isn't terrible, but everybody just thinks I'm "the new intern..." even though I've known them all for nearly a decade at this point...
[/quote]

I'm curious to see how Mr. Generic can survive as an E.V.I.L. c. employee.