Jax fell into the bottom of the lifeboat. He was exhausted. And yet, somehow, someway, it felt good. He had made it and the hand that touched his face told him everything he wanted and needed was right there. 

What had happened to him? He smiled. He didn't care. 

All the hesitation, all the fear, all the doubt washed away with the salt water gulps as he pulled Nicki into the boat. He knew in his very soul what he had been denying for so long; since her crisp honey commands when he first boarded, making him avoid what caught him so, since her detached concern for his hand, since the way she played her cards, wept at the Night Blossoms, kept her books, danced in the garden, read out loud, and shot with true aim. Since he saw her empty jacket blow through the wind, saw her kiss another man, followed her as she worked herself to weakness and then, then thought he might have lost her. Since all of that he knew finally what he wanted. It was not his boots.

Wet and and worn, Jax still felt as if a weight had been lifted. He wrapped his arms around her feeling warmer than he knew he should. She was here inside his arms and that was all he needed right now. He pulled her even more into him as he lay against the rungs of the bottom of the small boat. He opened his eyes to the fading storm and smiled. He didn't care where he was, how long they would drift or what island they would finally wash to shore upon. 

All he cared about at that moment was the soft hand on his face and the sound of those sugar filled lovely words. 

He laughed. “Forgot my boots?” he nuzzled his grinning lips to her ear and her neck. “I will trade them.” He kissed her neck. “I give them to the Lady Ship Dusk Skate and in return I all want is you in my arms.” 

The stars just began to peak out from under the thick dark clouds. He knew this sky. What he never knew, ever before was how good it felt to hold someone, really hold them and just breath, just rest, just feel the fingers and smooth voice of someone he realized now he more than just cared about. Not just someone. Nicki.

He put his lips close to her ears and told her what he knew was true. “Nicki, I want you.”

Jax laughed at the strange delight he found in saying that. They were both washed up, rung out, left to dangle on the waves, left with nothing. Yet he felt more full, more real, more whole, than he ever had. “I should want a warm bath, new clothes, safety on a ship, a table filled with food and drink but I don’t. I really don’t. I want you. And holding you right now, for however long we have, makes me happier than I ever imagined. I trade them all, everything, for you.”

He chuckled and looked down at her seeing how lovely she really was, more beautiful now than in that fancy gown. “Let me hold you and tell you silly ridiculous promises of how we will sail into the sunrise and onto an island where I will spend days, years, lifetimes, making you happy.”

He took a breath and realized all of it was true. He would rest and then battle anything, everything, to have more time to hold Nicki. He wouldn’t give up. They would sail away together. Part of Jax thought he was delirious. Yet part of him felt all of that was more true than anything had ever been. 

So he lay content in a strange sort of way feeling the wonderful touch of Nicki. He didn’t lift his head or look over the rails back to the ship he thought he loved. He didn’t hear any cries, any calls, anything above the lap of the waves and the breaths of Nicki. Jax was happy. As he looked to the sky he realized the feel of loving something real, something that could maybe love him back. Not a ship. Not a lifestyle. But a person. No, not just a person. Nicki.