The waves of pain fade back slowly like a retreating tide, and once more Alexi Vandros falls into his natural state of calm. Somewhere in the back of his mind he kind of misses the passion, but at the same time the vicious rending almost makes the passion not worth feeling. Almost. . . . Coughing lightly he spits a few times, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. [i]'I need to brush my teeth after this. I do no like this taste. I really should not let myself linger on things. It seems that thinking on bad things brings up his negative feelings and I end up attacking myself. . .How unpleasant'[/i] With a soft sigh he listens to Erik speak, a faint smile touching on his lips.

His eyes come up, free of the emotions that were there before. Now in their place is that soft little fondness that seems to confuse the vampire so much. “Ah, but you still hate me. . .” He looks to the now clean spot on the floor. “But that is okay. I am use to being hated. I am after all one of those evil slave owners you know. I help billions of people keep slaves in their place every day. . .I'm a bad man. . .” There is no hint of sarcasm in his voice as he says these things, his tone quite matter-of-fact. His eyes dart to the side to follow Erik's re-entry to the pool and when he feels the man close behind him he sits up a little straighter. The touch of finger on his hair is something he is a little more familiar with, Mois having a thing for petting his hair while he's trying to fall asleep on those nights Alexi doesn't feel like sleeping alone.

Carefully he sinks down on to his backside, his legs crossing comfortably beneath him and giving the vampire the access he needs to wet and scrub his hair. His head is only a few inches above the water as he hunches a little, wanting to cover himself up with water as much as he can. He stays silent as Erik works, just relaxing into the feeling. [i]'This is a nice little thing after all that. . .I should be careful not to upset him any more. I can not brush it off like I use to. . .His emotions have cracked my lock. . .'[/i] The hand on his shoulder makes him turn to look at it. He stares at it for a long moment before pulling away from Erik, turning around so he can face the man.

“I can not say this for sure, but if it would ease you, I will try and explain my thought on the matter.” He looks perfectly calm now, the only thing he is feeling is a need to try and help the man understand. “I have never failed. Any goal I have ever set I have achieved, even if it was not how I planned it. I have a reason for being so confident, for never second guessing myself, for my unwavering belief that I can not fail.” He laughs in a kind of sad way. “I know I am human, I know I am fallible. I know that I am capable of making mistakes, but I never have, so I do not have a god complex, I promise. I just do not see the point in doubting myself when my lack of doubt may very well be one of the reasons I have never failed.”

Reaching up he wipes away some suds that threaten to fall into his eyes before continuing. “So you can see how your feeling of failure, of such intense hate at not only yourself, but me as well. It is a completely foreign feeling to me. And you feel them, so, strongly. . .I have never felt passion. Never. I have set goals, had things I have wanted, however I have never felt anything stronger than my affection for my brother and Joseph. I care for all my slaves too, but that feeling is even duller. I do not have intense feelings, I just do not. I never have.” His eyes fall, “Except perhaps when I was. . .There was an incident, but I think that had more to do with how my mother and brother reacted.” He hangs his head a little. “That was not emotion. That was an unconscious reaction to my life being in danger. . .”

Looking back up at Erik he adds with a half smile, “That is actually the closest thing I can compare to the feelings you gave me. It is why I overreacted. The one time I have felt anything more than mildly was mortal terror.” His voice is even, his mind careful to keep the actual images at bay. Turning back around he settles down once more, just in case Erik wishes to continue washing. “Oh, and do not worry. I am feeling better now. With your feelings at rest I do not really feel anything but pleased with the hot water and content with the fact that I am getting cleaner. Also, the plan is set and even with this bonding changing my understanding of emotion nothing will change the freeing.”