My fav so far is blitz taking his friend's barely-average, puke-covered sloppy seconds.

You people are far too tame to handle stories of my sex life, but I'll share some alcohol nonsense. I was hanging out at a friend's family gathering. I'm still convinced there was something else going on, but I ended up smoking some chop and drinking maybe five beers and then blacking out for several hours. Apparently while I was in this memory lapse the cops showed up and nearly took me and some others to jail (I also said some 'funny' things to the cops if stories are correct). After this encounter with the cops I also managed to lose my wallet and keys (found them the next day) and pass out for a bit on a set of workout equipment. I now have a rep with said friend's family for drinking too much at family occasions, when as far as I remember I drank what would barely give me a buzz normally.