How I ended up in the ER twice because of sexual activities gone awry. 

1. Fooling around in the shower at a hotel and forgot to put down the bathmat. My husband was sitting on the ledge and goes to grab me, I slip and take a header into the opposite ledge, missing the faucet by an inch. End up with a chipped front tooth that has to be capped and a split lip, blood everywhere. This was in Denver, we were on vacation for our first anniversary and it was Labor Day weekend. No dentists were open and my husband was getting questioned by the cops while I was seeing the nurse in the ER. Everyone must have thought he beat me or something, it was pretty embarrassing having to explain to the nurse and the cops what really happened. 

2. A few years later, having sex in a certain position with my husband, I'm not a dancer, nor a super flexible person, so when he does that I feel a twinge in my ribs. No big deal because it's feeling great lower down. Later that night I wake up with this sharp pain in my chest, I'm thinking 'holy shit a heart attack? wtf!' So he takes me to the ER and they run all kinds of tests, nothing. The doctor, who has like 4 interns with him, starts poking around and asks me if I had bent in an awkward position or picked up something heavy because it sounded like I had some pinched cartilage between my ribs. That's when I look him in the eye and tell him, "Yeah, my husband here had me bent like a pretzel earlier." The interns start tittering and making furious notes and the doctor I can tell is trying not to laugh. My husband's face was 

[img]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m624r4BghS1qh1q7no1_500.gif[/img]

And my face was red. 

TL;DR It hurts so good.