First Name: Captain
Age: Irrelevant. 
Location: Irrelevant
Job: Protector of the Realm, General of the Legion, Admiral of the Legion Fleets, Last Knight of Spam, Savior of the Oldfags, patron of a dead way, avenger of the banned, Watcher of the Lounge, son of death, husband of war, father of victory, and I will get my revenge, in this life or the next.
Favorite Color: Blood.
Hobbies: Slaying the unclean, purging the unworthy, liberating the just, being mean to people who are just trying to help, saving the galaxy from giant robots and monsters. 
Sports: Your mothers.