[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlgfqddpEEc]Asian PervAsian[/URL]

[b]"Nǐ hǎo yàzhōu tóngbāo! Zěnme qù ma?"[/b] Shen greeted in a bubbly fashion, almost appearing as cheerful as Varren. Yinyues stared at his fellow student absent-mindedly for a few moments, as the gears within his brain began to churn. As Lilith began to down a beverage of a reddish hue, the boy eased his jaw agape as he finally spit out a response.

[b][i]"...Wha?"[/i][/b] He asked while cocking his head, with a quzzicle expression painted on his face. The second cup of espresso was held tilted in his hand, its essence nearly pouring onto its owner's desk. But before the liquid could pour from the rim, Varren regained his senses and shifted the cup to an equal angle. Now was the time to formulate a legitimate response, he glanced up at Shen's face, which seemed to be dying for a reply. The student had a smile stretched ear to ear, as if he had just found the secret to life. Yinyues wasn't an expert when it came to philosophy, but he for sure was not the greatest thing to exist for mankind. His finger rested above his toshinmac device, ready to recede to use the translating application. But rather than replying on the saving grace of technology, he gulped and looked up at the taller figure.

"Děngdài... Nǐ shuō zhōngguó huà?"

Another phrase ending in a question mark, which Varren was unable to understand. [i]"Let's see if he realiz-"[/i]

"Do you speak Chinese, friend?"

The boy felt guilty for letting out a sigh of relief, as Shen finally asked him something in a more common tongue. He loosened his black dyed scarf and scratched his neck, [b][i]"Sorry Fai, but I'm not too familiar with the language. I speak fluent American and Japanese, though. But, I'm used to speaking in the more generalized tongue of this age. So, are you liking the academy so far?"[/i][/b] Varren calmly inquired, taking a sip out of his beverage. He raised his arm to check up on any recent messages. Over the years, he had mastered the art of multi-tasking. If you can do something productively, why not expand that ability through multiple procedures?

Honestly, Shen had no idea what kind of reaction he was expecting. Maybe more rapid-fire Chinese in response, or perhaps some other Asiatic language, like Taiwanese or Japanese. So plain English explaining his circumstances wasn't too unexpected, just a little bit disappointing. He'd thought he'd have some fellow country - err, continent - man to relate to, but he was left with a Westernized young fellow. Truly a very minor tragedy. At least he wasn't, as these people said, "100% a dick" - whatever that meant. 

"I see, apologies for my assumption," Shen said with a slight bow of his head towards the half-Japanese young man, "I had just thought that someone such as yourself would be more familiar with the languages of Earth." He paused before continuing to answer Varren's question. "Truthfully, it is unlike anything I have ever experienced back in my homeland. Much more complicated, and with some social nuances foreign to my understanding," Shen gave a sigh at that last bit. Lessons learned and all. "That is not to say that I do not like it, here. Quite the contrary. How do you feel about it yourself?" 

Varren tapped his chin rhythmically, [b][i]"It's been... good. I met a pretty nice person who just so hap-"[/i][/b] And so strolled in another addition to Yinyues' conglomeration of acquaintances. The American Strike Witch from earlier, whose ears appeared irresistibly fluffy and soft. He managed to restrain himself from petting the soft feathers, as images of yesterday's events flashed in his mind. The thought of receiving a round house kick to the cheek wasn't too pleasing. With Lilith seated to his left, and Shen standing next to his desk, the seat to his right was completely vacant. Making a motion with his hand, he greeted his fellow classmate with his usual warm smile.

[b][i]"No, it is not."[/i][/b] Some of the other students were slipping out of the classroom, dispersing across campus to meet up with a few friends, or to merely drift to kill the time. Somehow, Varren had found himself conversing with three separate people within the span of five minutes. Such a social feat was to be commemorated, of course. With a quick tick at the screen, a goblin carrying another cup of coffee entered and left the classroom. [b][i]"This service is almost as good as my butlers~"[/i][/b] Aside from the pampering he had received over the years, he shrugged and glanced over at Alika as she took her seat. He quickly settled on an icebreaker, nodding in self-agreement.

[b][i]"Alright. Varren's super introduction course is a go! Lilith, Alika, meet Fai; My fellow Asian who can talk himself out of anything, by simply blurting out phrases in Mandarin. Lilith, Fai, and myself, meet Alika; I only skimmed over the project she participated in last night. My father didn't send me the list until ten o' clock, and it took me another hour to even find what I was looking for. Magpul just so happened to manufacture a few weapon components for soldiers bred from the project. Fai, Alika, meet Lilith: She has a good taste in hats, and can handle the caffeinated beverages I conjure up. And my introduction basically entailed all that is interesting about me!"[/i][/b] He inhaled deeply, regaining some breath after talking without ceasing for a few minutes straight. Nearly on the verge of passing out, he took a sip of the rejuvinating coffee.

"Pleasure to meet you," Shen said with a bow towards the vampiric young lady with the good taste in hats and the ability to handle the caffeinated drinks that Varren conjures up before turning to the American Strike Witch.

"Hello Alika!" Shen greeted with a wide grin and a rather sloppy looking salute. "Oh yes, I forgot to mention that me and Alika are acquainted already," the Chinese Asian explained, "Speaking of which..." The following words of his must be well selected, for if he wished to succeed, the situation must be right and the execution must be perfect. That is the methodology of the thing known as 'humor'. That wasn't to say that back in the homeland they did not have jokes, but apparently this world had a penchant for much more... [i]mature[/i] topics. 

"Speaking of which... You did not answer my question from yesterday."

Varren perked up, glancing up at Shen while tilting his head, [b][i]"...What'd you ask? If you don't mind me asking."[/i][/b] He queried as he took a long sip of the espresso.

"Oh, I merely asked her what her measurements are," Shen said matter-of-factly, "Of course, that is not a good thing to ask, but considering the situation, I have determined that this was the most efficient means of creating humor based off of previous experience, and thus utilized it as a means of inciting further conversation."

He paused, letting all that sink in.

"Oh wait," Shen began again, "I have explained the joke. That is not good... Hmm..." He then turned to Lilith and pointed, "You! What are the measurements of your bust, waist, and hips?"

Truly he was a master of humor. 

Varren nearly choked on his drink, letting out a few hoarse coughs as he slammed a fist against his chest. [b][i]"WHAT? FAI! YOU MUST JOIN THE ACADEMY'S INTELLIGENCE DIVISION. Oh, also, don't randomly ask people about the-"[/i][/b] Only now did he realize just who the playful question was directed towards. He doubtfully turned to face Lilith, scared by how infuriated she might be. [b][i]"Well. This is it. This is how I die. I'm caught between two different attack angles, both directed towards Fai here. This has been a very eventful lunch slot. Mr. Fenris, tell my parents I love them."[/i][/b] 

[b]"No."[/b] the tentacle teacher said, peeking into the room and waving Varren off with one of his appendages. And just as suddenly as he came, he left.

"...So Mr. Yinyues," Shen asked, astoundingly calm for the situation at hand, "Was that what you would call sarcasm? For obviously I did nothing wrong since my comment was, as you know, as joke and not to be taken seriously in any way." The obvious unless you want was left unsaid.

[b][i]...Perhaps I'm already dead. Is this the land beyond? It sure feels like it, with the infinite amount of coffee I'm receiving."[/i][/b] And how were Lilith and Alika reacting during all of this?