Hello everyone! My name is Jazzy as you know, Allen has been running 218 off site for a while and when we moved he made my his sidekick(or Buttslave) to help run the show and/or add to idiocy/immaturity/silliness that goes on in the roleplay and it's OOC. Here is a montage of all the highlights I thought was pretty funny throughout THIS OOC (not the old one in Casual). Do note this is a mature (lol) roleplay, so there is language and nods to sexual topics here and there. Nothing over the top, but if you're offended by that, this is your fair warning. Enjoy. [hider=Fitting Music][youtube]Aolvkt1EMYc[/youtube][/hider] --- [quote=MrAllenJ] [u]Jazzy[/u][b](Butt-Slave)[/b][/quote] [quote=Dragonbud] I'm not happy Allen, I demand a back massage[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (In response to Dragonbud)He isnt even your real mom.[/quote] [quote=InfernoBlaze] I just lost my Advanced virginity today![/quote] [quote=Jazzy] You all are cockblocking Matt so hard right now lol[/quote] [quote=Dragonbud] (In response to Jazzy) good[/quote] [quote=InfernoBlaze] [b]Gender:[/b] French[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] Alright scrublords, since I barely give any fucks, my skype info is Mr AllenJ. Since I don't really care if my skype is out there (Cam whores seem to find my skype just fine).[/quote] [quote=InfernoBlaze] Don't fall in love with me ladies, my face is on the profile picture :P[/quote] [quote=Leonerdo] (In response to InfernoBlaze) Hey, why don't you think of the men for once?[/quote] [quote=Dragonbud] Allen don't you dare post before me I will attack[/quote] [quote=InfernoBlaze] You should start with patting on the head! :P[/quote] [quote=Estylwen] (in response to InfernoBlaze) Which head?[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] I hope you guys enjoy my latest post. Five hours went into that.[/quote] [quote=Leonerdo] (In response to MrAllenJ) It sucked.[/quote] [quote=Cryptiic] - Henry Olin (Young teacher, ex-student. Also known as Mr."Hi, I'm a 7'3 friendly and upbeat scary humanoid lizard/alligator/whatever with a Phd.")[/quote] [quote=He Who Walks Behind] This RP is about to get Ho Yay as fuck. Since Henry can change genders, we have a TON of possibilities to work with here.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (quoted in OOC from IC) "He broke the fourth wall, get him!" Nikki loudly shouted, pointing a finger. Everyone in the room teamed up to collectively bitchslap Matt for his heinous crimes.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] "Hey you faggots, we're suddenly in space!"[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] Fine, I'll be the mature one. lol 69 IC posts.[/quote] [quote=Cryptiic] Oh no... My OCD's worse nightmare... A post I've written with a typo was quoted... Now I'll never be able to erase its stain from the forum... D: The edit button... It does nothing... O_O *Commits Seppuku*[/quote] [quote=Leonerdo] [hider=Barak Obama X Spiderman Slashfic]"With great power comes great responsibility..." Barack recited. He took a slow drag from a cherry flavored cigar and held it in his mouth before releasing it into the air, where the smoke danced through the air. He leaned back into his cotton rotating chair and propped his shiny leather shoes up on his coated, mahogany desk. "That's what he said, right? Your uncle Ben?" The masked protector of Manhattan hung upside down from the ceiling, a mere couple feet above the soft carpet in the Oval Room. His body was relaxed, but his mind was racing. Here he was in the office of the most powerful man in the free world - just alone with him and him alone. He was honored to be where he was, but all he could think about was how dashing his President was in a well-tailored suit. He might be Spider-Man on the outside, but on the inside, he was still an overexcited little boy with the opportunity of a lifetime. "...Yes." Spidey said, hesitating only for a moment. "He wanted me to remember the value of our decisions, and how they affect others." "I see. He must have been a fine man." Barack replied. He turned around in his spinning chair to take a brief look out the window that oversaw the city of Washington D.C. before turning back around to look straight to the eyes of Spider-Man's mask. "He must have been for him to have raised such a fine young man." Spidey felt his face heat up beneath his mask and his chest tightened. "Oh, no, no... it was nothing. I'm just doing my duty." "Your duty?" The President parroted. His face displayed surprise and admiration. "But most men and women don't feel duty until they pick up a badge. You sprung out one day from the depths of New York City and starting saving people." Spider-Man tried to deny these claims, "but, no, you see, that's what--", but Barack wouldn't have any of it. He interjected, saying, "save your modesty, Spider-Man. Take the compliment. You saved my life. Don't you remember? I was flying over Manhattan and..." "...and your plane stalled. Something got stuck in one of the propellers and the wing ripped off the jet. You were right next to it and--" "--and I fell. I fell from thousands of feet in the air, Spidey. I was terrified. I owe you my life. I owe you everything a man could ever offer." Spider-Man felt the inside of his chest flutter. Barack has done everything in his power to make him and his family comfortable. His Aunt May was given a house further from the city with payed monthly mortgage and he himself was offered this chance to talk to him alone in this office without any surveillance. And to think he'll be here for an entire week with Barack Obama! It was unbelievable! Maybe he'll be able to meet the First Lady Michelle and maybe their kids and maybe-- His train of thought was interrupted when his conversational partner stood up from the chair and snuffed his cigar out in the ashtray. His heart and mind was racing. What was he planning to say? Or what to do? Barack set the cigar down and paced around his desk, carefully placing one foot in front of the other. He was so refined, and so tailored. It was at this moment that He was all Spidey could think about. Barack ended his pacing when he met in front of Spidey, mere inches in front of his mask. "You're an example to us all." He started saying, his usual authoritative voice was softened. More intimate. "You're a symbol that anyone can help." Barack drew his hands closer to Spider-Man's mask. The hero could barely see past his dizziness. "Why are you doing all this for me?" The President didn't stop or hesitate once. He pulled down Spidey's mask halfway. "Because I have hope." He told him. Then he leaned forward and pressed his dark warm lips against Spidey's. It was at that moment that the hero's heart erupted, and everything he thought he knew was gone. All he cared about in this moment was getting closer to him. Spidey pressed more firmly against' Barack's lips, returning his affection. The President held the back of his head and pressed the two toward each other. There were fireworks in the Oval Office today, and the two shared this brief moment of intimacy together before Obama slowly broke off the kiss. Spidey hung there, utterly stunned by the events that had occurred. The line snapped and the hero fell limply onto the floor, but that did little to snap him out of his current trance. Barack, too, seemed unfazed. He straightened his suit and tie and looked at his watch. "I have a conference meeting to go to in a few minutes across district." The President walked to the other end of the room and opened the door to the hallway. He looked back for a brief moment at the starstruck hero that still layed on the ground. "I'll see you later tonight, Spidey." He purred with a wink. Spider-Man simply raised a thumbs up sign with his hand before he dropped his arm back onto the ground. Barack flashed him a final, charming smile before he closed the door to oversee the congressional commune.[/hider][/quote] [quote=Jazzy] I claim post 200![/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (In response to Jazzy) and on this day the size of your e-peen doubled.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (quoted in OOC from IC) "And to answer your question, Nikki, my creator is a mid teenage male and my girlfriend is hot. Sex is a thing." he said, shrugging, not looking back at the explosion that was the 4th wall being blown to smithereens for the second time this act. "I hope Adam starts the training soon."[/quote] [quote=Cryptiic] Or you could just retro-actively insert him into the story. A lot of new characters are introduced that way. You could even arrange via PM with some of the other writers introducing new characters themselves for your character to have interacted with theirs the other day. That way, it helps establish a consistent timeline and makes it seem less like your character is just popping out of nowhere.. Just because you are a bit late to the role play doesn't mean your character necessarily has to be as well... You could use Zack King's introduction on page four as an example. PS: New drinking game, take a shot for every time I write the word "Character".[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] Lol Adam said hands on training.[/quote] --- Everything in here is a response to the last. I hope your body is ready for what you're about to read. --- [quote=Cryptiic] Spiky tentacles... Hmm... I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going...[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] There'll be no tentacle porn on my watch![/quote] [quote=Jazzy] If it's not tentacle porn, it's lizard porn. Both of my characters are very capable of one of those things. CHOSE WISELY.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] Well the joke's on you asshole [b]0. Lizard porn, and tentacle porn are strictly forbidden, whoever breaks these rules will have a piano dropped on them.[/b] It's against the ruuuules THE RUUUULES[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] Piano porn is a thing. I am okay with this.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] [b]0. Lizard porn, tentacle porn, [i]ESPECIALLY[/i] piano porn, are strictly forbidden, whoever breaks these rules will have a piano dropped on them.[/b] Thank you for reminding me.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] I will manipulate the rules to my bidding via porn. I am Matt. The universe bends to my will(y).[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] [b] -2. All characters named Matt will be sentenced to the headmaster's BDSM dungeon for all eternity. -1. The universe does not bend to your will, Jazzy, it bends to my oversized dick.[/b] Let's see how far that gets you[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] Ah fuck, I forgot this rule too [b]-3. All BDSM dungeons are to be referred as Chuck Testa Dungeons[/b][/quote] (Inside joke, we used to be on a forum where the censor for BDSM was Chuck Testa) [quote=Jazzy] [b]17. Do not have fun. I will make sure this RP will be the more painful moments of your young life![/b] This rule went to shit fast. The mods are fun here![/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] We are saving the RP from ourselves.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] WE ARE THE CAPTAINS OF THIS SHIP, AND IF I SAY WE SAIL INTO THE ICEBERG, WE SAIL INTO THE ICEBERG DAMNIT.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] Our ship is the SS. Ass Pirate and we sail the seven seas on the prowl for booty[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (in response to a new person wanting to join about a minute after posting the message above) YAARR WELCOME TO THE SS. ASS PIRATE, YOU WISH TO SAIL WITH US ON OUR QUEST FOR BOOTY??? I BE FIRST MATE JAZZY, YE BEST BE POSTIN YER CHARACTER SHEET IN THE CHARACTER DEPOSITE, LINKED ON THE FERST OR SECOND POST ON THE FERST PAGE.[/quote] [quote=Cryptiic] Don't mind the mods, they were just discussing boating, leadership and tentacle sex.[/quote] --- [quote=Obscene Symphony] Sorry for the inconvenience, I guess this is what happens when you write after midnight (yes, I am totally softcore)[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (In response to Obsene Symphony) WIENY[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] This is Alex: *snip* Dear god. Longest working link ever.[/quote] (The link to the picture had 13000 characters) [quote=InfernoBlaze] She uses body language? Must have missed it![/quote] [quote=Cryptiic] Yeah, it looks something like this: [img]http://9wow.in/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Kristen-Stewart-.jpg[/img][/quote] (In between the above post and the one below there was a spat about Maple Syrup and Canadian invasion, don't ask) [quote=Leonerdo] 1,000 x X, where X is the value of the speed of potato, represented by miles per hour per potato speed, or mph/ps. x = mph/ps = 0 x = 0 1,000 x 0 = 0 So, the speed of a potato, when multiplied by 1,000, remains at a value of zero. Brought to you by [i]"Math Time With Leo."[/i][/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] Seth is accepted, his rating is.... [b]Whatever 8[/b][/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] Oh, Paige's rating is... [b]I barely care anymore 8[/b] [/quote] [quote=Jazzy] Gangster!Henry inbound.[/quote] (Female!Henry, Jesus!Henry, BasedGod!Henry, Human!Henry, etc are all things as well) [quote=Space Communist] "Valjean's SAND STREAM kicked up a sandstorm!"[/quote] [quote=Leonerdo] If there's another person over six feet or can bench press over a hundred-seventy-five pounds, I will bust a nut. Suffer from erectile dysfunction. Spontaneous genitalia combustion. My ballsack will explode.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (in response to Leonerdo) *Insert Superman character sheet here*[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (In response to Jazzy) Rejected. Ur not cool enough.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (In response to MrAllenJ) I use my godly mod powers to accept it. GG[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (In response to Jazzy) You whore.[/quote] [quote=SerpentGear] I am considered to be above the national average height for females.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (In response to SerpentGear) So's my dick. I couldn't resist I'm so sorry.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] 666 posts not counting this one. All hail our lord and savior, satan. EDIT: Gangster!Henry's theme song: [youtube]kZwhNFOn4ik[/youtube][/quote] [quote=Leonerdo] I actually don't understand this fixation with this character having to hold her breath.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (in response to Leonerdo) I can think of some sex jokes.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] I had Tess approach Quinn. I plan on making Theresa the worst flirt in the entire RP. No matter how hard everyone tries.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (In response to MrAllenJ) Challenge fucking accepted.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (in response to Jazzy) Prepare for the storm, motherfucker.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] ... I LOVE COLLAB POSTS, NOTHING MAKES MY DICK HARDER[/quote] [quote=InfernoBlaze] I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK![/quote] [quote=Leonerdo] (in response to InfernoBlaze) [img]http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130401010212/happywheels/images/8/8e/Rageface_-_Oh_Crap.jpg[/img][/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (in response to InfernoBlaze) [img]http://www.meegoh.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/oh-crap-meme.png[/img][/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (in response to InfernoBlaze) [img]https://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyfabsU4xH1qzy531o1_500.jpg[/img][/quote] [quote=Jazzy] Henry can breath underwater from his skin. He'll jump down and will meet Atticus at the bottom.[/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] (In response to Jazzy) [i]"Henry can breath underwater from his cock. He'll jump down and will meet Atticus at the bottom."[/i] Fixed.[/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (in response to Allen) He CAN breath underwater through his wang actually... No shame. He has the world's most powerful and versatile wang. Not only that, but he has TWO of them![/quote] [quote=QuietThinker] Why won't it let me post :([/quote] (He then proceeded to post that exact message ten times) [quote=MrAllenJ] I totally want to replace the "deer" with a human being in my post now. Now, I think we should discuss where we're going to go after our many collab posts. There's a lot of loose ends here. I updated the third post with arena-layouts, right now there's only three, but if someone can come up with a good one, then I'm all ears. I updated Theresa's sheet by the way. Rewritten her personality with ideas I had that just make her seem more rounded, and I also explained her regeneration a bit. I also updated Dana's too since a fellow moderator said that she can do more than I thought she could. Details are in the other section. I would update relationships, but this site is being a butt at the moment, so I'll save it for later[/quote] (He then proceeded to take up a whole page with that post) [quote=MrAllenJ] I have contacted the mods, and they will be fixerizing things shortly. [/quote] (They never did) [quote=Kynapon] Them's fightin' words. [/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] They are but I assure you, you do not want to fight none of this: [img]http://ep1.pinkbike.org/p4pb3946479/p4pb3946479.jpg[/img] [/quote] [quote=SerpentGear] I walked in, do I see people having a Fullmetal Alchemist conversation? [/quote] [quote=Leonerdo] (In response to SerpentGear) No, we're talking pornography. [/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] BEFORE JAZZY EVEN GETS THE CHANCE I CLAIM POST 1000 MOTHERFUCKERS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (In response to MrAllenJ) u wot m8 [/quote] [quote=Estylwen] Shit, there [i]are[/i] monsters in the dark. D: [/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (In response to Estylwen) They're all comin' for that booty. ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ ° ) [/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] Jazzy has been demoted to buttslave for being a scrublord. [/quote] [quote=Mr Allen J] All praise the based penis. [/quote] [quote=MrAllenJ] The 300th post is mine, motherfuckers. Jazzy: -0 Me: 9001 [/quote] [quote=Jazzy] (in response to MrAllenJ) Fuck off.[/quote] --- And there you have it. Keep in mind that we moved from Casual to Advanced about two months ago so the other half of the OOC hasn't been covered and will probably be saved for another post. There is also a huge amount of idiocy in the IC of both the Advanced and Casual threads and don't even get me started on our skype group. We have a gargantuan amount of stupid/hilarity that goes on, and if I tried to find everything, I'd be here all week, and you would probably suffocate from laughter. Also, if you want to join in on the fun, [url=http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/58110/posts/ooc?page=1#post-1789732]Academy 218[/url] is still open and will probably remain so. Hope you enjoyed!