The other day I was waiting for my to-go order at a taqueria and I was wearing shorts despite it being cold. This guy comes in with his chick and his family, he's got this huge Pancho Villa mustache going on and he looks at me, deciding to be witty. "Isn't it a little cold for shorts?"

I was already not in the best of moods so I said back, "Isn't it too hot to wear a cat on your face?" 

Not my best comeback ever but he got all butthurt and his wife laughed at him.