Why is it that nobody seems to have knowledge of quantum knowledge? The humans are sitting over here with their quantum transmitters and theory of everything while everyone else apparently thought "Well, the cat is obviously one of the two. It's determined already, we just don't know."

I can only imagine a conversation about that:

"Well, our people have realized that if an animal is in a closed box with a fifty-fifty chance of survival, then it is both alive and dead at the same time since nobody knows which it is."

*Alien diplomats slowly back away*

"Oh... that's... interesting. Yeahsorrygottagokthxbai."

EDIT:
And here comes the inevitable post where two guys find themselves looking at Eldritch abominations, resulting in some sort of unconventional mutilation(?)
I'm not sleeping because of this post. 
*Shivers*

(At least I got a new post length record)