@wonderlandalli 
I would love to incorporate biology into my lessons, but because of my position and common core curriculum... that's not a readily available option. As for the student loans, I actually got paid to go to college. I was really blessed. I have absolutely no student debt and was able to move into an apartment within months of graduating. I constantly talk to my students and try to get to know them on a deeper level, but they often reject or frustrate me when I try. Yes, this is my FIRST year and I have also heard it's the hardest. But I've never experienced anything like this... and I've worked with some pretty messed up kids in the past. Something just isn't right, but I haven't been able to put my finger on it. I miss the mark each time. As a first year teacher, I would feel so selfish to ask for a different position within the school. I've also come to the realization that a general education setting would not be any different. I would still be in the same state I'm in now. Luckily, I was able to open up with my parents this past weekend and they were very supportive. Even though they can't truly understand my situation or feelings, they're not dismissing my feelings.

@Shanks 
Wow. I can't imagine sticking with something that made me unhappy for 5+ years. That speaks volumes to your character though. You must have a very strong sense of family and responsibility. I admire that! I find that RPing helps me escape from the cruelties of life and harshness of reality, but I don't know if I could write a book about my struggles. If you ever get that published, please let me know. I would love to read it. I'm continually praying and hoping God guides my decisions over the next few months... well my whole life really :] I'm glad to know that adults of all ages and walks of life struggle with similar issues. It gives me a sort of peace, ya know? 

Thank you both for everything ^^ I'm usually the natural encourager, so this is way out of my comfort zone. I appreciate that I'm not in it alone.