So my mother had killed me.

I was never blind to the fact that she thought I was an inconvenience, but that she hated my guts so much as to take my life? That took me by complete surprise.

Oh, I always suspected that Mother used something, just wasn't sure what was her poison of choice. There were many times in which, as a young child, Mother would be away for weeks. I wasn't concerned about it, since everyone assured me she was just away for 'charity-related business'. As I grew up (before I went away to boarding school in London, that is), I noticed that she had erratic behaviors in the few moments I saw her. I knew enough at the time to avoid her at times like that (I always tried to avoid her, anyway), and also to be sure that she didn't suffer from a mental disease. Her symptoms were consistent with drug abuse, not mental problems. Just as I was starting to fear for my safety, Father gave me the opportunity to leave for boarding school, and I jumped at the chance. Who knew that just when I was thinking she was clean, she would fall in the drug's clutches so deeply to savagely murder me with the bottled-up rage of years? Hell, at least Father had shown me some love in the few moments we spent together throughout my life.

I never thought I would die that way. Out of all the things that could've happened to me (contracting a disease/parasite for a foreign country in one of my trips, being abducted for money and killed afterwards, shot by a jealous wannabe, in an automobile/cruise/yacht/jet accident, etc.), it had been stupid Lurieth in her coke high.

On a positive note, Nathan had tried to save me. My sweet Nathan: always so serious, but with such a heart of gold. Why was I so blind to see that the man felt for me? I can picture him so clearly... Short black hair, tanned skin, a 6'5" toned body, and the kind, almond-shaped eyes that brightened when he saw me. Nathan was my loyal companion everywhere and anywhere, sometimes the only one I ever opened up to. He had seen up close why I had become the Ice Queen, but didn't judge me for it because he knew and was a witness that all of my good traits were hiding behind a wall of coldness I had placed to guard myself from further hurt. I had shared so many memories with Nathan, but there was one that has been branded into my memory like no other. I will never forget the feeling of his soft lips against mine in a final confession of his feelings for me. It makes my stomach fill with butterflies just at the thought of it. 

I had one clear purpose in life if I ever had the chance to go back.

To let Nathan know that I felt exactly the same.