Not exactly a joke but I do have some of my favorites ways to answer a phone:

"Welcome to the <insert city> Sperm Bank, you squeeze it we freeze it."

"Welcome to the <insert city> Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em."

"Thankyou for calling the Rusty Needle Blood Donation Center, how may I help you."

" Lick-A-Chick Burgers, home of the Dripp'N Chick'N Taco, how may I help you."

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Just incase that didn't do it for you.

An alsatian went to a telegram office and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."

"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."