I share that wish, especially in the games.
However one would have to side with one or the other.
If you were male, and of a certain race. Then siding with the imperials and marrying the Jarl of solitude; Elsif would gain you the throne.
The alternative.
Siding with Stormcloaks and gaining support of as many Jarls as possible, and taking the throne through the Kingsmoot as it is based on a majority vote.
And then there is always underhand tactics such as assassination, at the right time. However such a coarse of action may rekindle a civil war. 
I've put a bit of thought into this as you can see.