[@AliceInRedHeels]

I had intended for her to have dabbled in a couple of different things, crimes that would still be present in the new society anyway. Things like drug dealing, a little bit of hacking, theft, things like that. My original thoughts were a little more extreme, but I think I've abandoned them because there's no reason for her to have gotten her hands that dirty. In a newly ideal society, I imagined that even smaller crimes would be even more taboo than they used to be, so I think that's enough.

Also good point about the sword, and I think I've found a solution that I am in love with. I'll change her sword to a wooden bokken, Gintama-style, and keep it wrapped up so it doesn't attract too much attention (though people would still probably shy away.) I don't think that would be dangerous enough to get constantly stopped by the police, and it would be explainable if she did get stopped. ("Just going to practice, officer.) It'd serve for self-defense if need be, too.

Hopefully that answers your questions in a satisfactory way. If not, feel free to keep pestering me :p 


[@Genkai] Saw your suggestions second so hopefully I don't overlap too much and get confusing xD

Unfortunately I don't quite get what you mean by 'too peachy.' I meant for her to be an aggressive attacker type, so I assumed just having a physical toolset would be fine? I don't mind changing whatever, I'm just afraid I have to ask for a bit more clarification, sorry :(

As far as her upgrades, I can limit them if you're not comfortable with the general spread. The basic idea is just "Speedy flash-striker" anyway, so if I have to start lower and get better with the story, I don't mind. I wasn't sure about the frequency that the Gvn would allow for updates, so I figured a couple of small ones would work. I'll rewire that a bit. As a general idea, maybe I keep the flash strikes (with the sword) and leave off the rest? I'll think it over a bit.

Her defeatist trait I had in mind that yeah, she'd be easily discouraged by insurmountable obstacles, but get over that with time, if that makes sense? Who wouldn't be, honestly? Going through a refractory period like "Dammit, this is impossible, there's no way I can do this." And if it's not important, she would probably give up. But for something important, where she's forced to bounce back, she would have to get over herself and grow a bit. I get where you're coming from, but I personally don't think it's that unreasonable. Let me know if you still don't like it, I'll work around it a bit.

As for her cynicism, this is the one I'm gonna take a bit of a stance on, with apologies. To think that everybody gets over their teenage angst when they leave high school is a little closed-minded. In an ideal world, you're right, it's good to leave that behind, and most people look back and wonder what they were thinking when they were young. But not everybody develops in the same way. People live with all sorts of issues, from quirks and traits to actual medical mental issues. And having a well-paying job doesn't excuse somebody from stress or unhappiness with the state of their life. As a percentage, I think I remember reading that rich people with no 'real problems' are actually still fairly unhappy in equal measure if not more than people in poverty, and I think dismissing their problems is a bit naive.

Oh jeez, sorry, I hope that didn't sound too rant-like. I'm not angry or anything, I just think that being 'cynical' is defensible. Depression and other mental illnesses are getting more and more common in 20-somethings these days, so I think it's reasonable. Plus it's possible to be a cynic, or even depressed or bipolar, and still get along just fine in society. In Karako's case she'd just be an avid complainer and occasionally get really pissed off about certain things. I don't think it's that bad. To spin it in a good light, it's like somebody who doesn't like the way the world works, and works to change it, if that makes sense. Who might say "Politics are too corrupt" so they become a politician, or "There's too much red tape in the law" so they become a judge. Of course, Karako herself is... probably not so noble. But it's the same personality trait, just acted upon differently.

If you think the undercover stuff is unreasonable, that's fine. That's sort of a risk I took when I wrote it in, because I thought maybe just a slap on the wrist and a "Don't do it again" was a bit too wishy-washy. But if that's preferable to you, then that's what it'll be. No problems here.

I'll retort to your nitpick-worries with my own. I hope I don't just sound argumentative here, I did just wake up. I hope you don't think I'm snapping at you, that's not my intention at all :S


TL;DR: I'll be changing her sword, her corrector upgrades, and I'll leave the whole double-agent stuff on the curb. But for the rest, mostly in regards to her personality, I would like a little more clarification before I make any hard changes. I get where you're coming from, I just also get where I'm coming from, y'know? :P