I often get the urge to write while having very little to write about, and so I turn to the mundane and simple and well, I really start to over think things and jot down my thoughts. Sometimes the finished product is a mess of cringe and other times, I get lucky and write something that may resonate with something inside of me, however, no matter the quality or how cringey I find a piece to be, it is still something that I have created all on my own. So I thought I'd share and log some of them here in italics, if the post has any context I feel needs to be filled in, I'll add that in bold. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. ========================================================================================================================================== This piece was my first and only journal entry on Deviant Art, I had used the service very briefly to submit my written work, however, have since stopped using it due to various reasons. I have omitted a section of the last sentence due to its irrelevance to the piece as a whole, I have also changed the username in the title to make it somewhat more relevant.

Your Journal Ver. Allel

[Entry]

There is this fondness that envelops me when I think about life, not my life specifically or the life of an idol, but the concept itself. Life is this amazingly complex type of structure that seems as an impossibility even when it's basic and advanced steps are explained to you. Through all my lessons of cellular respiration, enzymes, the construction of polypeptides and protein synthesis, the base pairing of DNA and gene structure of chromosomes, I still feel a sense of awe and mystery in life. You can look at the building blocks and how they are put together but understanding the beauty of the end product seems like an abstract subject of its own. There was this quote I read somewhere, I think it was from Carl Sagan, it was along the lines of, and I am paraphrasing here, "Science is the universes way of understanding itself." I'm not even sure if I am getting my understanding across yet in this jumble of words, to put it simply, if you look at life, and remove all the semantics, all of the specifics, I feel what you are left with is an image, a feeling, an abstract understanding, of something that is truly beautiful. What amazes me more is that beauty is a human concept and so when I look up at the twinkling stars of the night sky, that awe inspiring feeling that builds in my person, is a human construct. I've been conditioned to associate an emotional attachment to the act of staring at the stars, in such a way that merely looking at the night sky can affect my mind in a very real way. It brings a smirk to my face to realize that the mere act of looking at the sky can bring me happiness, and that this is something I have manufactured in a way. It draws to question, in what other ways can we as human beings, be manipulated? Just food for thought I suppose.

[/Entry]

This one is a little bit creepy and really cringe-ee and I feel context is important for this one. The follow is a poem I had written to my partner, at the time we were both fourteen and shared this type of poetry with one another. Despite the content it was never designed with the intention of inflicting harm or threatening another person, we found these types of poems to be 'sweet' in the right context.

The Tortured and Me

A flick of the wrist, and some moderate force, You'd fade away, In to my dreams, We're I'd do it again, so it seems. Your life is worth none, But killing you would be fun, A stab and a gash, a rip and a tare, And soon your flesh, I'd be able to wear! And among this scene, I'd hear your screams, ecstasy to my ears, As I full fill your fears. Some rope and a gun, and we can start the fun. So get in the car, I wont take you far... For ever we'll be, just the tortured and me.

This is another cringe-ee poem I wrote many years ago, this one was not directed to anyone in particular but served more as a creative out-let. It's pretty bad and is from a time in my life when I had only just started reading poetry, so it may be pretty hard to read. I look at your pictures for an hour, I write of our adventures for two, Because in my head, it's just me and you! Why can't you see? You and I are meant to be! I still have our pictures from when you called me 'Friend' And I had that dream again, You knocked on my door and I let you in, and all of a sudden you were my own little whore again. I need you, so please come back! I didn't mean to hurt you then, If you'd just open your eyes, it wont happen again! Please draw another breath! I didn't mean to... All I wanted was a single kiss, I really didn't mean to... This is my love, Your blood on my blade, Your body at my feet, One final slash, and again we'll meet. I'll fade into endless darkness, To see you my love, And together we'll have a lot of fun, you'll see because I've chosen you, you're the one!