[quote=@TheDookieNut]One of the first things I would suggest is finding a local support group or group of people who meet and help each other through. You have type 1, from what I remember during a strange part of the ten different trips to doctors I had to take ... this means you're more balanced than type II which I believe is less manic and more depressive, I'd suggest getting to know others with bipolar and allowing them to support you.
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First off, bipolar I is worse then bipolar II, as I had major manic times: like waking up on a Wednesday and toing to bed on a Saturday. Or, have times I only had less then 30 hours a sleep in a week. With depression, have drank a whole pot of coffee, and instead of sleeping 12 hours I may only had 11.5 hours. Getting to know others, when I just started out I did as you said for years: how many times I had to see them die. Sure we can support each other, but sometimes you have to put the cell phone away. 

Here is the problem with being friends of a batch of bipolar friends. True, there first time they will call a friend of the police for help. The second time they may do the same again. The intelligent ones that do take their life, they do not call anyone, they do not ask for help, and you would never think their mood was so bad they would take their life. And, they do not leave a note.

Here is the problem with attempted suicide, in a number of times they get arrested and spend weeks or months in jail. Here is the most classic example. A male with a handgun that plans to shot himself. Since he has never fired the weapon, or never fired a firearm before: they shot the weapon into the wall or the floor. Then they changed their mind, and call for help or someone in the building calls the police. Now you cannot get arrested for attempted suicide, you can get arrested for reckless endangerment and be charged as a felon. You will not get much help in jail, as you will be declared as having a factitious disorder. In time, you make a deal and become a convicted felon. You ask why law enforcement does this. Because their is not a very well designed system with involuntary commitment into a mental hospital, second, if you are involuntary committed, you are more likely to get SSI and SSD. 

So what happens, in jail you have a factitious disorder, and end up as a felon. You get out, and poof you get mental health treatment or may not. If you do get help from community mental health, now you have a problem of being mentally ill and also a convicted felon. With those types of people, and more so being a male: you are a felon and now mentally ill. Now if you are a military war veteran and tried to use a firearm in a attempted suicide: you will be charged. Now your a military war veteran, and as a convicted veteran you lose a great deal of your veteran benefits. Now do you understand why America has on average 88 suicides per-day with veterans from Iraqi or Afghanistan.

If you tried to take your life once, your not going to make the error of asking for help.

I am not upset with you, just telling you, society does not want to help you if you have a mental illness. You want to know what is the new mental illness fear for the general public "I am a war veteran with PTSD". Because what better way to save billions of tax-payers money then making a veteran a felon.