Wait wait wait 

You started off using "I" and saying that you yourself were Spam

But halfway through you started saying "We" and acting as if Spam was a group of individuals

Come on, floor

Which is it 

How can I fully digest your insightful commentary and truly be floored by your legendary analysis of such an important topic when you're flip flopping all over the place with the plurality of the subject of your rant

You get a D- and a month of detention