“Ret…I thought I told you not to call me that,” Archibald said as a vein popped up on his forehead, raising his eyebrow, his other aggressors pressing in even as he spoke. This…was getting bad. Strapped in a corridor full of Grado soldiers with their only way out blocked by the Spike Guild and with no momentum to keep running…things were turning out rather grim for Archibald and the two merry men with him. Ret’s voice suddenly cut into his situation assessment, causing everyone, including the Grado soldiers to turn and look at the gruff man. After delivering his message, Archibald could only blankly stare, blinking rapidly. He always knew that Ret had a…way with words, but at this point he was sounding like he was recounting some sort of hero tale. “…Did you eat something weird again?” he said as his mind thought back to that time Retario ate that blue mushroom Archibald warned him not to eat, “because I’m pretty sure some random rock can’t possibly-“

With a sudden crack and clopping of hooves, the doors next to him burst open and vomited forth a tide of well dressed, well armed people causing the bandit to shield himself thinking retribution had come…only their noises receded into the distance. Opening his eye a crack to look down the corridor to see that some people had engaged Leonard and Carlson, Archibald raised an eyebrow and cracked a grin. “Looks like lady luck just handed us a golden egg boys,” he said to Aiph and Darius. “What!? Where!? How much do you think its worth!?” shrieked the nasal voice of Aiph. “…figure of speech Aiph, figure of speech,” Archibald replied as he slapped the thief over the back of the head. The Grado forces around them looked bemused, like they were watching a comedy act, but one of them shouted: “Why aren’t we seizing them yet!?” In response, the soldiers fell in.

It was then that a slow measured voice reprimanded the soldiers. “Don’t you all have better things to do than to try to capture this meaningless rabble!? Let them go! You have greater enemies to face!” Almost sheepishly, the troops muttered amongst themselves and returned to their posts, causing Archibald to turn towards Aldo and give him a mock salute. “Cheers mate! Not only did Lady luck give us an egg, she also sent us a distraction!.” He could almost feel Aldo’s contempt as he started to gather up the scattered food. Remembering a black Pegasus, Archibald paused and looked towards it. The two seemed frozen in time as they glared at each other, bearing their teeth. There was another splat as Nightmare deliberately and slowly stomped on a potato. “Hey you bastard of a pigeon,” Archibald said as he closed, his fist clenched, “you looking for a fight?” Pressing his face up against the Pegasus, it snorted in response as the two fiercely pressed their foreheads against each other, their teeth bared. “Boss, what are you doing?” Darius said with a sigh as he hefted the sack of potatoes over his shoulder, “Leave the Pegasus alone.” Shifting his eyes away and towards Darius, his pupils quickly snapped back. “We’ll settle this later you…hoofed potato destroyer.” With that, the archer rejoined his companions. “Lets get out of here while the goings good lads.”

Then it happened. When he got back, he saw some random guy pull his pants open in front of a lady and…pull his rod out. It was a beautiful ornate rod with a bulbous head and a rigid shaft that extended far out of his pants. How he got it in there the first time was beyond Archibald. It glittered in the light before he presented it to the woman in front of him. And she didn’t even seem to question it. “Some people…” he muttered to himself before turning away.

Sauntering forwards in a relaxed manner, Archibald came to a stop beside Retario. “Sup Ret,” he said as he folded his hands behind his head, “why you punching the ground…and why do I smell burnt flesh?” Between the heads and bodies of the people in front of him, Archibald saw that two random Jehannans had replaced Leonard and Carlson. He raised an eyebrow, his arms still behind his head. “Have we hit a roadblock?” he asked. “Archie you lazy lummock!” boomed the voice of Darius, “carry your own damn potatoes!” Looking down towards his second in command, Archibald smiled. “Sorry mate, a bow requires both hands if you want me to be useful, while your axe only needs one!”