[quote=@RPforthatPR]
..SNIP..
Is this good? Should it be longer? I'm honestly not quite sure, this is my first advanced (and in fact any) RP here![/quote]

[@RPforthatPR] Generally, in the advanced section, we look for more depth of character. We need to know what kind of a person Walter is. He has lived for more than 30 years, was a soldier-of-fortune and traveled wide. Surely such a person will have a tale to tell! How was he as a soldier? Did he like money more than he liked loyalty? What about his brother? How did he die? Why did that make him take such an early retirement? How is he making ends meet now that he is not fighting for money anymore?

Basically, I want to know what kind of a person he is, by reading his history. Not just the single-word adjectives like short-tempered. They are merely guides and pointers for later skimming. If you looked at [@MacabreFox]'s CS, you will see that Zahira (the character) is a headstrong woman with an aggressive streak and who has an independent bent of mind. I can, for instance, predict how Zahira will react in a particular situation. And when I notice discrepancies, I can immediately, as GM, warn the respective player that they are not sticking to character.

So take your time. There doesn't seem to be any hurry from anyone else in getting this going. Flesh out your character. Find out what Walter likes and dislikes; what he fears the most etc. Nobody's perfect, so even your characters should not be. Show me some shades of grey and you won't regret it. Above all, give more life to Walter.

And while we're on the subject, try not to make your character's names obviously RL. Some naming conventions:

Elinor - English-sounding names, but use your imagination to give them a twist. Martin can become Matin. Peter can become Paitar. You get the idea.

Carmalan - Similar to Elinoran but their names are softer on the tongue.

Chiron - Very hispanic/mediterranean in its flavor. Try stuff that sounds like Pedro, Felunti etc

The Dun - As is now evident, the Dun have arabic flavor in their names, with a lot of Zs and Hs. A twist on any islamic name will work. But, as I said, try to get that twist in and keep it fantasy.