[@World Traveler]
For us to properly give you feedback about Devin's power, we need to know more about it. We appreciate you not wanting to 'waste time' writing something without our approval, but we can't really approve anything until there is something substantial to review. It was not clear to us what Devin would be able to do with his 'dark energy'; words like 'combustion' and 'annihilate' did not really tell us much about what Devin is capable of. We need you to be more explicit when talking about his abilities. You can look at mine and Shard's character sheets for reference. 

We also are concerned with the idea of 'dark matter'. It connotes to us things like black holes and all that fun destructive stuff that would be far too overpowered in a roleplay of this kind. We are okay with some kind of 'dark energy' unique to him, but it is important that you specify this is not 'dark matter'.

Your personal statement is a good start, but we expect the most detail in this field of the application. It is your character's chance to really tell his story to the academy and convince them he needs a place. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.

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[@DrugMother]
We really like Genevieve as a character, and you have explained her powerset well. It all makes sense to us. Our only criticism is that the formality of the application needs to be adjusted to properly fit the scenario of applying to a school, but we can see you have begun to edit this already. Your personal statement is most developed of the applications so far in terms of backstory, but we would also like to read more about what kind of thing Genevieve enjoys, and what values she holds. We also need to see a sample post!

So far a good application.

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[@LokiLeo789]
Shard and I both agree that Kane's personality is well executed; however this doesn't belong in the application. You have a similar issue to DrugMother in that the form is not conducted with 'formality', as you would expect from a school application. The problem with your sheet in particular is that Kane's personality and vocabulary is so strong, it distracts from the important information and makes it difficult to understand. We expect that once the tone of the piece is adjusted, we will be able to understand it more clearly.

We don't really understand what the power can 'do' at the minute, and it raises a lot of questions for us. We need more specific details as the description is currently very vague; you talk of manipulating "solids and liquids" and being able to "adopt abilities", and these statements have vast reach. The possibilities are near-endless and we need you to be much more specific when telling us what he can and can't do. We also were curious, if his power is indeed just 'surfing' on things, how it would be useful for him in the roleplay. His power is our main concern at this point.

Your personal statement is good, but it is too concerned with his 'personality'. The aim of this field is to give us an in-depth look at your character's life and interests, his personality should be 'shown' and not 'told'. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.

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[@LetterA]
We really love that you embraced the opportunity to be creative and experimental with your power..! It's definitely unlike anything we have heard before. Our main concern with the power is that it may become difficult to play, especially as the roleplay focusses on interactions between characters. We also think that the mucus has more potential than is currently being explored.

We feel it would be best if she did not live in a sentient bubble of mucus that might eat her. Instead, we think the power would be best explored in a different format: we suggest that she walks around normally, and is able to secrete the mucus from her skin. She is able to secrete different kinds of mucus that could be devised by you, we were thinking things along the line of a 'healing mucus', a 'corrosive mucus', etc. There would also be scope for you to 'squirt' mucus, like a aquakinetic might shoot jets of water. We think that the 'bubble' could still come into play, but would more likely be her body's response to a near-death experience; she would produce a bubble of mucus that sustains her and nurses her back to health. Please let us know what you think about these suggestions.

We appreciate that your sheet is unfinished, but we also need to see a Personal Statement and a Sample Post before we can approve your application.

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[@TheWizardLizard]
Your sheet was the closest to completion out of all of them. The only thing we would really ask for at this point is more detail in the 'Abilities' section of his powers, as we feel there is more explanation that could be done. We would also like to see a more fleshed-out personal statement and a sample of your writing under the 'sample post' heading.

Everything you have written is fine and we feel most things are explained clearly. We would just like a little more detail in some areas. Thanks for your application! 

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[@Mortalbean]
We are aware that your sheet is a Work In Progress and so we will keep most of our review until later, as it mostly pertains to missing information at this point! One question we did want to know was, is there a limit on how many items he can 'dominate' at once, and if so what is this limit? The application is looking promising so far. We like that you added extra information in an OOC tab to allow for development IC.

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[@Vesuvius00]
We love your application so far. We like that, though her guises are seemingly endless, she does not 'gain' anything from them. I.e. she can turn into a huge bodybuilder, but the amount of weight she is able to lift does not change. That is a good balance of the power and you have thought it through well. We have a few questions about the nature of the power: 

• How long does it take for her to transform between appearances?
• Is she limited to human-only transformations, or can she turn into animals etc.?
• Can she only turn into people she sees (i.e. uses them as a 'reference'), or does she have free control to change her body at will? (I.e. she could remain her 'regular self' but taller, for instance.)

Your personal statement is a good start, but we expect the most detail in this field of the application. It is your character's chance to really tell his story to the academy and convince them he needs a place. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.

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[@Liriia]

We appreciate that your application is a Work In Progress, so we will not give it a full review just yet. However, we would like to mention a few things about your powerset:

We like the idea of her playing with the light, but we think there is a lot more potential for you to explore and have fun with. For example, bending light could grant her invisibility, or the ability to render other things/people invisible. She could also change the colour of things by changing how light is reflected from it, etc. We would also say that she should be able to generate her own light; we don't feel this is really overpowered as light on its own is not really a major threat. This would allow her to cast 'flashes' of light to disorientate or distract. 

There is nothing 'wrong' with your application at the moment and we look forward to seeing how you develop it. It just felt to us like you were holding back in fear of being overpowered; whereas we think you should in fact take the power even further! 

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*phew*... That was a lot to catch up on for one night of applications! Thanks for all the submissions so far, Shard and I are really excited to see how all the sheets are developed following our feedback.