Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by SilverWolfAngel
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SilverWolfAngel The closer you look / The less you see

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Question. I don't understand what "nonymity" is. Explain please?


"Anonymity", where one isn't named, "nonymity" where one is.

I don't think it is a real word, but that they are using it; a joke maybe?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Tip
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Tip Prime example

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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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Loksfjoer Lucky flame

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First off, I want to thank everyone for the feedback so far, I really appreciate it.
I like to reply to my feedback and talk about it, either to explain why I did something the way I did it or to ask additional feedback. Or just to express my gratitude.

@Ellri I'm glad you felt that way, interesting is something I tried to aim for. The idea behind the connection between power and corruption is one of the things I wanted to write about, I'm glad you picked up on that.

@mdk You're correct with the assumption that this story was mainly about the dialogue. I didn't use that MacGuffin deliberately, because I didn't even know about that (so thanks for the link), but if I had known about I probably would have used it deliberately. There is a lack of conflict and change, I know, that was on purpose. I merely wanted to explore the idea of ultimate power and the power of placebo's. I often thought during writing that it was too bad there was no bonus category for writing about power and have absolutely nothing exciting happen whatsoever. I probably would have won that...

Now, about the extraneous thoughts, I kinda understand what you mean by that (after I looked the term up real quick), but I don't understand the relation to the example you presented. If you could elaborate just a bit on that, that would be great. I see how I could have cut it in two sentences and the last comma was probably unneeded, but did that fall under the extraneous thought? Because to me it was simply describing Andy's uncommon attire, which came back during the conversation with Jack. So I don't really get what I did wrong there (aside from what I already mentioned).

I hope it wasn't as much as a comma-infestation as it was with the first labour, because I did try to do better with that this time.

Lastly, I'm really grateful for the positive points you mentioned, thanks.

@Alice About the spelling mistake, I looked it up. In Dutch grammar, it seems to be correct to abbreviate doctor with dr., so the nametag would be correct in Dutch and that what I based it on. I assume the rules are different where you live.
Do you want me to present you with an edited story to make it easier to read?

@PlatinumSkink I'm glad you like Andy, it is how I wanted to portray him. I used Eric to introduce Andy, I understand it was confusing that I didn't start with the main character.
And I know the story isn't exciting, it wasn't what I wanted with it. I'm glad you still thought it was an interesting read.

@Holmishire It's true, I wrote about power and nothing interesting happens whatsoever. I didn't intend for that in this story, I focussed mainly on dialogue. I wanted some people to talk about the idea of ultimate power, work with the connection between power and corruption and lastly venture into the realm of the power of placebo's. It's something I knew wouldn't give me much votes, but it's the only idea I could come up with for this. Plus, I didn't have time to make the story much longer then it was.

I agree I should have added a bit more to make the claims on the tablet believable. Perhaps how this ancient civilization managed to defeat an army larger than their own, something that could be explained in the article. If I would mention just that one thing, would that already be an improvement for the believability?

About the side-characters, Eric was only used to introduce Andy and start the initial discussion, that was all he needed to do in the story. Jack was mainly to develop Andy further and to have something fun to write, but that part could have been left out, that is true.
If I would have had the time, I could have worked with them again, bringing them back in some kind of aftermath or something. But that wasn't the case.

There is one thing you should tell me though, is C+ still a decent grade? I'm not familiar with that grade system, we don't use that in the Netherlands. I know A is the highest and F the lowest, but I'm not quite sure how I should view a C+

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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mdk 3/4

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Out of curiosity, will entrants be able to opt-out of having their entries archivedβ€”or alternatively, opt-in? I ask largely because I know some of the writers in the first contest felt disappointed in their work, wanting to improve, and so they might want to wait until they've written something they feel proud of before it gets permanently displayed.


Definitely. I think when we get one, possibly two more contests done, I'll put some feelers out about what people actually want from an archive, and try to suit everyone's desires (for instance, would we rather have all contest entries preserved in one post, or each story/poem as its own permalink? That sort of thing). All concerns will be addressed to the best of my ability.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Holmishire
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Holmishire Ghost with no home.

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There is one thing you should tell me though, is C+ still a decent grade? I'm not familiar with that grade system, we don't use that in the Netherlands. I know A is the highest and F the lowest, but I'm not quite sure how I should view a C+


C+ is the standard to me. It holds its own, but is not yet ready to impress me.



So basically, C is good, with C+ being the standard of quality; B is great, with B+ becoming personal favourites; and A is amazing, with A+ making me surprised this is even an RPGC entry.

At least, that's the gist of it!
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by ravenDivinity
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ravenDivinity many signs and wonders

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I didn't even know there was a new writing contest until just today...
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 π•Šπ•Ÿπ•¦π•˜π•˜π•π•– π•Šπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜π•¦π•π•’π•£π•šπ•₯π•ͺ

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@ravenDivinity We get that a lot. long story short, coding was never entirely finished for the sidebar (mdk was supposed to be allowed to update it) and Mahz is busy IRL and so didn't have time to finish coding or to post the new contest.
In the future we'll all keep links in our signatures and other such places and we'll post news threads and other such things to try to get the word out.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by ravenDivinity
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ravenDivinity many signs and wonders

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@RomanAria Ah, I see. That measure will save face until coding is worked out, then. Thank you!

Also, pardon the double notification. I accidentally chose the wrong reaction. :(
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Alice
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Alice

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Thanks for explaining. I didn't know that about Dutch grammar. Yes, if you would like to. That is completely up to you, though. ;)
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Darcs
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Darcs Madama Witch

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So my reviews are probably going to be the least professional here, and I, personally, have no problem with that. Professionalism is for scrubs.

I mean, if you're happy with that lifestyle and you aren't an awful person, then good for you-- I don't mean that you specifically are a scrub-- unless you are, in which case okay.

Getting back on point-- my reviews are going to be very laconic, mostly ignore grammar and punctuation, so long as I get the point, and feature a 1-10 ranking system based solely on my opinion. I value concepts, hidden themes, motifs, character development, surrealism, silly phantasmagorias and decent plot and interesting dialogue-- internal or external WAY more than any technical aspects or prose you throw at me-- so know that.

Like, if you wrote a hard sci-fi story, and I give it a -4/10 and say it's shit-- it probably isn't actually shit, I just think it's shit-- and who am I? Just some loser on the internet. Keep writing you aspiring Asimov.

tl;dr

This is all my opinion;
The Good = Anything good I found in your story
The Bad = Literally the opposite of The Good
The Ugly = I don't know, some kind of wild card? I'll probably put your score here

Everything I say here is some kind of lie, except for whatever isn't?


@Kurai Assassin

@Psyga315


@NewSun




Ughhh, I'll get around to these later-- also I'll probably provide an extensive RapGeniusesque explanation into my poem


Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Kurai Assassin
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Kurai Assassin Edgelord

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OK im sorry but im gonna tell everyone this now. i dont know how long these competitions plan to go on but my main idea was to have each of my short stories link on from one another. hence why most of you are left wondering why certain characters are kept in the dark or why there is so little detail of a certain aspect. All will be realised in due time
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 π•Šπ•Ÿπ•¦π•˜π•˜π•π•– π•Šπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜π•¦π•π•’π•£π•šπ•₯π•ͺ

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@Kurai Assassin Just so you know the contests will go on ad infinitam aut nauseam. (I think my grammar got screwed up, sorry Latin grammar nazis) but what I mean to say is, it will go on until RPG dies it's final death or until the community gets sick of the contest and quits entering.
The thing is, each entry should still be comprehensible It's fine to have one epic story arc that you're following, but like most good literature, someone should be able to pick up one of the ones from the middle of the series and still understand who the characters are and what is happening. Otherwise, for those who poke their heads in on contest, say, #20, they'd have to read all 19 of your previous entries first for the story arc and characters to make any sense whatsoever.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Dedonus
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Dedonus Kai su teknon;

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Also, just FYI, I think I will skip reviewing the poetry submissions because I don't feel I can make any meaningful or constructive comments. Hopefully there are others who can pick up the slack. If they were written as epic poetry (in the style of Homer, Vergil, and Ovid - dare I say), I maybe could make some remarks, but otherwise I would be up a river without a paddle. :D

Also, any hints on what the next contest's theme will be?

Edit: If I wrote some Latin Dactylic Hexameters for the next contest, can that mean I automatically win. :D
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Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 π•Šπ•Ÿπ•¦π•˜π•˜π•π•– π•Šπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜π•¦π•π•’π•£π•šπ•₯π•ͺ

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@Dedonus Welp. There goes my idea. ^.^ I have legitimately no idea what the contest will be because that planning goes on while TTL is running. Still, knock yourself out (not literally) with trying to write your entry in dactylic hexameter *cringe*.
But you'd have to provide translations so that stulti homines tibi doceant. (I don't want to know how terrible that grammar was.) In any case, most of the other judges would not be nearly so kind in reviewing a poem that they could not understand. And given how gods-awful my appreciation of grammar is, not to mention my nasty habit of mixing up vocabulary words, I'd hardly be able to provide a just commentary if I was given solely a Latin version to work with.
Edit: Sorry. First-and-third-person ick.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 π•Šπ•Ÿπ•¦π•˜π•˜π•π•– π•Šπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜π•¦π•π•’π•£π•šπ•₯π•ͺ

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@Tip Well, I screwed up my subjunctive, it was supposed to be doceant (How I mixed up third and first person I have no idea. O-o) but it's supposed to say "foolish men might teach you." Tibi in the dative to be direct object of "doceant", doceant in the subjunctive to imply "might".
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Elitestpotato
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Elitestpotato

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Did the first three. More will be coming.

@Kurai Assassin


@Psyga315


Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Psyga315
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Psyga315 From Shadows

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@Psyga315


My apologies... It was a sequel to the previous story I submitted at the first contest, The Escalation of Two Brothers.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 π•Šπ•Ÿπ•¦π•˜π•˜π•π•– π•Šπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜π•¦π•π•’π•£π•šπ•₯π•ͺ

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Okay, I'm late to the party, but. Better late than never, right?
I will be using the six-trait power write rubric that I use in English class. The rubric is shown as follows:


I’m starting with poetry because the poets need some love.


~currently working on the other ones and will update as time goes on, just wanted to let you people know that miraculously I actually haven't forgotten about this!~
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