(All speech must be read aloud in a scottish accent)

Tulka pushed against the heavy door, almost tripping over his own boots as he stumbled through the door way and into the tavern.
[i]"Ya wee bastard!"[/i]
Adjusting his iron helm so that its nose guard was no longer sitting on his lower lip, Tulka strolled over to the bar. Approaching a stool and  straining his neck as he looked upward at its distant leather seat, Tulka let out a soft: 
"Bloody hell..."
Planting a foot on the lower beam between the stool feet he tried throwing his arms over the top, looking for grip to pull himself up. Almost smacking his nose off of the thing. When his fingers finally found a solid hold, his foot slipped and he fell backwards onto his [b][u]arse[/u][/b]. Rubbing his lower back, he suddenly leapt forward to stop the stool - that was slowly tipping in his direction - from falling ontop of him. 

"Ah ya'shitter!" Driving a shoulder into the stool, he drove it back onto its four legs.

Heading back towards the door he spun on his heels and ran back toward the stool. Flying through the air as he lept up, Tulka noticed a head sticking from between the cielings wooden boards.

"Elderi?"

Distracted by the recognition of his old friend, Tulka fell short of the stool and back onto his arse, sliding into the stools legs. Rubbing his eyes as well as his back once again, he squinted, it was most certianly Elderi.

"What in the nine whores are you doing here?!"

A great rush of wind stroked over Tulkas face as he turned to see a leather padded seat ,shortly followed by 4 long wooden legs, rushing towards his face.

"Oh for fuck..."

[i]Smack[/i]