[@HHShetland] [color=lightgray][i]"'Ey, Landlord! I've come for a glass o' BEER! 'Cuz only real grown-up men drink Beer, yeah? Well, I'm a real grown-up man now, so I want some!"[/i][/color]

[color=fff200]"Landlord's not here."[/color] Called Hilda as she rose up behind the bar, her hand squeezed down between her ample cleavage as she quickly squirreled away the baubles she'd found [color=gray][s]hidden behind a secret panel beneath the counter[/s][/color] lying on the floor, making a mess. [color=fff200]"He's off upstairs wrestling a fiery sprite back into her cage... [sub]lucky bitch...[/sub] If you'd like something to drink though I can help you there."[/color]

Stepping up close behind the bar the barmaid bent over just far enough to flash her prestigious assets to the new customer, enough to distract him as her talented gaze danced over his diminutive form, pricing up each and every trinket he was carrying before welcoming him with a beaming grin. [color=fff200]"We offer a wide selection of beers, both lagers, stouts, ciders and ales. Personally I'd recommend the Nether Scrapings,"[/color][sup]1[/sup] The tavern wench expounded, gesturing to the pump handles set beside her. The one she was talking about seemed to have a thin layer of dust covering it, as though it hadn't been used in a while. Since it was the cheapest beer on tap at the Drum, and the foulest flavoured, there was no surprise in that.

[color=fff200]"It has a unique flavouring to it that only the wisest, most handsome and richest can truly appreciate. To everyone else it taste like the stuff the pigs leave behind after eating their swill."[/color] It was an old trick, but a good one. Telling a person that only if they're worthy will something be wonderful always had them swearing the stuff was divine, even as they fought against their own gag reflex trying to keep the stuff down.

[color=lightgray][sub]1 - A rare ale brewed by the hermit monks of the local monastery only once a year, just after their annual bath.[/sub][/color]