Here's my delayed responses to the different reviews of my entry. Thanks to all those who reviewed it.

[hider=Dedonus][quote=@Dedonus][@PlatinumSkink][hider=Poweless][b]Bonus Challenges:[/b] King of the Hill?

The problem I have with this submission is that nothing really happens, or at least nothing "on the page".  For instance, the protagonist, Effraye, does rally the refugees to go fight, but we do not see this happening.  We only see the end result or a short description.  I cannot claim that the protagonist was useless to the plot (as his efforts helped turn the tide of the battle, but we don't see the how he did it.  That's my gripe with it.
[/hider][/quote]Actions... take a lot of words. I specifically constructed this entry to be as short as I could make it. That has consequences. I ruled that the words that drove everything into being were more important, so they stayed. Now, would the story have been better had I excluded the scenes that now are in and included all the actions? ... It would probably still be a story, quite a lot more exciting a story, but not the story I intended to tell! XD ... That's a kind of amusing thought, really. ... Heh.[/hider]

[hider=Ellri][quote=@Ellri][hider=Powerlessness]Fits the theme nicely. The choice of the protagonist being hit by an arrow only makes his individual powerlessness more obvious. The final section feels a bit unfinished. The story could have benefited from more details on the various characters and on the various nations. Perhaps also a bit more detail on how the battle was turned beyond being provided a new element of chaos.

[/hider][/quote]The final section feels unfinished...? ... Hm. What would you say it is missing? I'm curious because I feel it is rather complete. And yes, a few more details would probably have benefited, but it would also have been drawn out more. I currently decided to make this as short as I could to examine the effect, and I acknowledge that it could probably have been more detailed, but I like how it became. Thank you very much for saying that it fit. I feel kind of proud of that. Tihi.[/hider]

[hider=mdk] [quote=@mdk][@PlatinumSkink]
[hider=powerless]I like the plot a whole awful lot. But my favorite thing is the characters – Marta especially, and Conifant too, although he doesn’t have *quite* enough time to really shine. Everything adds up tactically and the planning effort on your end hasn’t gone unnoticed. In short, the structure of this story is fantastic. Something you could do better (says an idiot on the internet) is, this whole narrative is really only about Effraye. No one does anything unless it specifically involves him, even if they’re a king or a knight or an enemy general. Not that we really need to be interested in what those other blokes ate for breakfast or anything, but the story becomes exponentially more deep when there’s another agenda added. That’s actually what the word “intrigue” means – two motivations squaring off. It’s hard to be intriguing with no intrigue, right? You certainly don’t have to go full Game of Thrones on your stories – especially short stories. That would do more harm than good. Something as simple as showing us [i]why[/i] the king is upset would instantly add a layer of depth to the whole narrative and put Effraye’s actions into context. Which makes them more significant, which makes the story more interesting, which makes it better, right? Of course that’s easier said than done – the doing probably involves a lot of boring exposition. But that’s the art. Anyway Effraye’s journey here makes a great story. We actually tossed aside a bonus category called “Magikarp,” and I wish we’d kept it – Effraye the uselessly splashing fish out of water just saved his country, and it would’ve been perfect. Very clever take on the theme, well done![/hider][/quote]Yeah, Confiant was one (out of quite a few actually) characters that I decided to cut, but then while writing I actually decided I had a use for him, hence why he had such a passing role. I'm glad, and honestly surprised, he managed to leave a positive impact despite this. Haha. And yepp, I tried out the structuring which you suggested. I am happy that this paid off. Ah, yes, I could have made it about more than Effraye, but that would have made the story longer and I decided it was unnecessary for the short story I intended to get across. I do realize I could have made it deeper, but as of this entry I wanted to keep it simple. Thank you, anyways. Teh-heh, I'll consider him the unofficial winner of the Magikarp bonus category, then. Thank you very much, mdk~! ;)[/hider]

[hider=Holmishire][quote=@Holmishire][hider=Entry #11: Powerless]> B-
Reading this entry, it feels like all the important bits, the moments of conflict and tension, were left out. We don't get to see Effraye's efforts, nor the battle, and his initial rejection is only barely touched upon. Instead, we seem to focus on some short, very to-the-point conversations.

In addition, the narrative jumped about temporally a couple times—in particular when it mentioned Effraye's revolution [i]after[/i] the results of it had already been announced. It feels a little jumbled about. I guess I also have some trouble with it because I'm personally not fond of the dialogue—in a dialogue-heavy entry—which feels like it is rambling about and far more vibrant and playful than the situation calls for.

I have little else to say, sorry. The story was good, but didn't feel like it progressed smoothly.

[@PlatinumSkink], author of [i]Little Me[/i]. You [i]are[/i] gtting better with the ellipses! The dialogue is of a somewhat similar nature to the previous entry—really pushing out and vibrant, though less rant-y than the last time, which is good.[/hider][/quote]Yay! I got a B~! *bounces in happiness*	(B-, but I count that as B! XD)

Actually, I feel the bits I included are the important bits. What's important is not what he's doing, but how we know that he came to the decision of what to do and what this resulted in. I feel the origin and the result of an action is more important than the action itself, even if reading the action might be a lot more exciting. To-the-point conversations helped keep the entry short, which was my mission.

I'm not entirely sure how you mean the narrative jumped about and how it felt jumbled. ... Heh. The dialogue felt vibrant and playful, eh? Well... that's actually the atmosphere I had in mind when I wrote it. Oh, and whenever Marta is there, you can be sure the atmosphere automatically gets softer, because that's the kind of character she is. Not sure how to fix the "rambling about" part, but in any case. Thanks~

I'm getting better with ellipses? ... Alright, then~! Are you sure that's not just a coincidence because I was writing an entry that required less ellipses? Hahaha. Thanks, anyway~[/hider]

[quote=@mdk][b]King of the Hill[/b] -- Perhaps ironically, 'Powerless' by [@PlatinumSkink] swept the category. We loved the compelling story of a nothing-sized kid rising to the challenge and seizing (perhaps short-lived) power on the battlefield -- enough to rival his own king's commands! Several others were considered for this category but I can't possibly name you all -- regardless, good job to the lot of you.[/quote]... King of the Hill? ... Uuuuh, you sure my entry fits the... I guess it technically does. I mean, there weren't any challengers with names, but... ... ... Well, in any case. Thanks for the honour~! Haha.