Mattie scooped Cole into her arms and followed the man who'd introduced himself as Jacob Stride. She wanted to say, "Don't go in there! Are you crazy?" but no words come out. Anyway, what should she have expected him to do? Biting her lip and clutching the baby close, she lingered at the doorway and peered inside at...

[i]Oh, Christ.[/i] Her arms tightened involuntarily around Cole, and she turned him so that he faced her chest and not the gory sight ahead. Her mind raced as fast as her heart. [i]I could have gone in with him. I could have prevented this. Now he's lost a whole arm because of me.[/i] She caught Jacob referring to her as Nicholas' girlfriend, but the words didn't click until a minute later. She never did respond to that. 

She stood aside to let them through the door. Don't cry, god damn it. Don't cry. She'd seen people OD on heroin. This, she told herself, was no different. But it felt different. It felt so different. 

She extracted a water bottle from one of the packs. Holding Cole in one arm, she put the water bottle to Nicholas' lips and tilted it so just a tiny bit would go in and not choke him. It wasn't much. [i]We'll find shelter and then I'll do more.[/i] Mattie looked gratefully up to Jacob. "Thanks," she whispered.