'Asshat' answered first, "This is the Security Chief, Fischer, reporting in. All systems nominal, door control, internal cameras, those scant few internal turrets, all of it's at 100% operating efficiency, Command.". He paused to look around his 'security office', a somewhat reinforced cubicle, with a nice desk inside and the ships' small 'armory' behind him. It could've been made a lot bigger.. and he could've had some assistants... but this'll do. He noticed his 'Twinklesmarts' figure out in the open and quickly hid that in his desk. Eyeing around, he 'phewed' when he was absolutely certain no one saw that. He ran one last diagnostics on all security systems on his console. "DOORS: GREEN. CAMERAS: GREEN. TURRETS: GREEN. ARMORY: STOCKED."

He manually checked the armory, (also known as just opening the damn thing), and saw that not a single bullet was missing. Good, everything's A-OK. He put in one last thing for command, "Command, secondary check also revealed all systems absolutely nominal. Can I ask something, though? If we don't even put out a word in... I dunno, six months... tell my family I love them very much, please?"