Nicholas' breathing picked up again, and he started to panic when Mattie put the rope between his teeth. He had to force himself to trust her, but damn, it was so hard to do right now. He couldn't think straight and he was suffering. He was miserable. He could have easily tried to undo the ropes, but with one hand and a fuzzy head, it would have been too much effort to try. Not to mention, she and Jacob both could have stopped him.

Eventually, he just relaxed once again and let everything happen. The pain came over him in waves, but he made no reaction to it. He wished he could Cole. He wished he was home, in his bed. He wished everything was normal. He closed his eyes, and for a moment he felt like he was back in his room, in his bed again.

He looked at Mattie and wished he could say something. He knew it would come out as muffles, but very carefully, he tried to say, "I'm sorry."

---

When Mattie began to gag Nicholas, Jacob took Cole into his room and lay him on the bed. He bunched up blankets on either side of the baby to make sure he wouldn't roll over and fall off. He went back and stood in the doorway, watching Nicholas writhe on the couch until he finally settled down.

He called out to Mattie and said, "If you want, you can just come sleep in here with the baby. I'll stay in here - I'm not getting any sleep." He waited for her response.