ALRIGHT THEN, LET US START THIS OFF. I DO NOT KNOW WHY I AM NARRATING TO YOU OR ANYONE I KNOW FOR THAT MATTER, BUT I MUST SAY THIS CERTAINLY HELPS ME CONCENTRATE ON SOME MORE... personal issues.

ANYWAY, LIVING IN THE FOREST IS ACTUALLY QUITE COMFORTABLE. I DO NOT NEED THOSE FANCY CLOTHES, MY LAST SURVIVING BROTHER'S TAXES OR MY STEPFATHER'S HELP. I AM PERFECTLY FINE LIVING LIKE THIS, AS IT ALLOWS TO CONTINUE PLOTTING TO... kill that bastard and his party of slaveholders... WHILE ALSO BUSY SMASHING ALL THE CONVICTS AND CRIMINALS WHO TREAD MY GROUND. SURELY THEY UNDERSTAND MY CUSTOMS AGAINST THOSE WHO BREAK RULES, YES? MY... tribe had a rather rich history, something I will never get back of them. All I can do is avenge my family and tribe, before chartering a boat back to the land I have never seen since I was a little child.

IT WILL BE HARD, BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I AM A GIANT AGGRON WITH A BLOODY HAMMER. NO, IT IS NOT A WARHAMMER; I AM NOT SOME SORT OF SAPPER OF CASTLES AND THEIR WALLS. FURTHERMORE, THOSE THINGS ARE USELESS WHEN YOU REALISE THEY DON'T EVEN DRIVE NAILS IN, BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE AESTHETICS THAN ACTUAL VALUE IN COMBAT. AM I RIGHT? IT JUST A WAY OF SHOWING OFF IF YOU ARE A RICH MAN WITH AN ARMY.

IT CERTAINLY IS QUITE SUNNY TODAY. THE TREES WHICH TOWER EVEN ME PROVIDE A GOOD COVER FOR MY HOME, WHILE ALSO GIVING ME SOME SHADE SHOULD I LEAVE AND FEEL AS IF I'M BURNING. THE WIND WHISTLES WITH THE BIRDS DIVING THROUGH THE AIR, FLAPPING GENTLY AS THEY SOAR BACK INTO THE SKY WITH AN EXTRA BUG IN THEIR BEAKS. I SOMETIMES WONDER IF LIVING LIKE A SIMPLETON IS A GOOD IDEA IN A WORLD WHERE KINGDOMS, COUNTRY-STATES AND ARMIES RULE. BUT THEN, I CAN LAUGH AT THEM SHOULD THEIR MIGHTY EMPIRES FALL, BECAUSE I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED IN THIS LITTLE FOREST. 

However, it does get a bit lonely. All the brothers, family and friends my brother described to me... why, I just wonder what sort of life I would have had, had that heartless Pokemon did not trespass through our lands and stole the lives of everyone. Was it really my fault for not accepting the customs of my tribe? These people here... why, they are less civilised than we were. We knew the ways of old would destroy us all, spreading our ideas throughout the land to warn everyone of a precious new age that has come after the Cataclysm. Some of the elders were hundreds of years old, and they could still remember when this world was not a wasteland. Now, their memories are gone, and that remains is the tribes that survive in my old lands and my own brother. Sitting down and thinking of everything... just how did this happen?

DO I HEAR COMMOTIONS? A RUSTLING IN THE TREES AND A LAUGHTER OF JOLLY MONSTERS? QUIETLY, I STOOD UP BY GRABBING A BRANCH OF AN OLD TREE, BRANDISHING MY TRUSTY HAMMER AND PEERING THROUGH THE WOODS. THERE, TWO POKEMON WITH DAGGERS AND A SMALL SACK. ONE OF THEM WAS CLEARLY FLOATING AND PURPLE, BUT THE OTHER WAS JUST A DECORATED YET SCUFFLED ARCANINE. I WOULD HAVE JUST LET THEM PASS BY, HAD I NOT RECOGNISED THAT INSIGNIA ON THEIR CLOTHING...

"FOOTPADS!" I YELLED WITH TREMENDOUS FURY, STOMPING OVER DEAD TREE STUMPS AND PUSHING ASIDE MOSSY ROCKS. "I'LL STUFF YOUR SHOES INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS!" NO ONE GETS AWAY WITH ROBBERY.