And here I am getting to these Twelve Labour reviews at last. Seeing as entries have already been selected for passing the test, I won't be judging based on adhering to the goal of the labour. I may make a passing comment on whether you did or did not, but that's been covered. Mainly I'll just look at structure, content, etc.

Reviews are up!

[hider=Ultimate Power, Ultimately Powerless]You got some pretty writing there! Pleasant to my eyes, really. You've got the skill, but now you need to nail down some of the finer points of the story. This was short, but hey that's fine. Not everyone has to go super lengthy. But you could have benefitted with some more length, seeing as how this piece did not pass the challenge. Might have helped establish the too much power you seemed to be going for. The flashbacks weren't needed. While the writing was beautiful, the expository elements didn't help you out here. I'd like to have seen Olivia in action. See her struggle with being powerful but ultimately powerless. I'm slightly confused on the figurehead point, at some points you make it seem like she does have some considerable power and choices to make. What if Olivia had power, and you went the route of her using it too much? Anyway, that's enough of the topic of the labour itself. But these questions could help focus your story. I want to SEE Olivia's world and her story. I want to FEEL her pain, not be told about it. Give me some real depth to grab onto. You've got elements for a horribly sad tragedy that'd probably make me cry. As it is, it was enjoyable but needs more.[/hider]
[hider=Too Much Power]You don't have to be so blunt about the guidelines of the labour. I get it, you wanted to achieve the task I suppose. But this shouldn't be about accomplishing just that. It should be about writing excellent prose. Well, more like IMPROVING so you can reach the level of writing excellent prose (WHILE HAVING FUN!) Don't feel limited by the mission set forth by the labour. You're allowed to indirectly hit the point of the labour. Get creative with your message. You can imply what is too much. We can see it through what your characters do and say. And they don't have to be all like "I HAVE TOO MUCH POWER!" Someone could SHOW that they are high on their powers. Hovering in the air like a god, and then using so much that they end up in the hospital. We would understand they had too much power without having to say it directly. As is, the writing style can be a bit bland and dry. I still don't feel I know these characters too well. Build your world more is what I suggest. Dig deep into the personalities of the brothers and their relationships with others in the outside world. Things may start to come more to life.[/hider]
[hider=Curiosity Killed The Cat]You've got a habit of some of your paragraphs being scrunched up together. Might wanna break those tight confines open and give space between. Makes it easier on the eyes to read. It's been covered that the beginning of the story is quite a bit of exposition. Why don't you show us Oscar and his daily activities? I want to see him make maps. See what he's so interested in. Show us his character through his relationship with his wife, etc. Once you got to the forest, you displayed some real talent. I was disappointed we stopped there because I wanted to explore more. Everything came to life, and that's where the story really seemed to begin.[/hider]
[hider=Thirteen Flat]You definitely redeemed yourself from the last time. And I had no doubt you would. I mean, when the actual story was told in the first labour your skill was evident. Beautiful prose and vivid descriptions. Made me really excited to see what you had in store for this labour and you nailed it! I got a feel of your characters. Are you from the South or wherever those accents stem from? Asking out of curiosity due to the whole western vibes. Or perhaps you're just a fan of that kind of feel/genre. REGARDLESS, you do a wonderful job with it. Like me a western-y feel for sure. You immersed me into the world, and it seems like some research was done within the topic of the story. It felt interesting and grounded in reality. Nailed the contest theme. Michael was strong as a character, and you put on display the whole show don't tell. We could get a lot of who the characters were by their actions. Just a well put together piece of writing. I wanted to see more![/hider]
[hider=Forbidden Knowledge Grace]Know you didn't hit on the contest theme, but whoa that was awesome. Typically horror-esque things don't appeal to me, but they certainly do when the story is compelling. And that certainly was the case here. If this is going to be a novel one day… TELL ME! Lol. Right amounts of showing, right amounts of exposition. Enough to keep me curious the entire way through. The children! Wow, that was horrifying. The Poisoned Man was creepy, as what whatever the hell chased Arctos and the Wizard. You've got an intriguing talent. Don't often see too much fantasy mixed in with horror. It feels like an expansive world and you've established it rather nicely. Bits and pieces here and there. The Plague, the kids, the beast, the poisoned man. I want answers to these questions, and you wisely left them to sizzle with the ending. It was like reading several well-paced chapters of an intense moment in a great book. Excellent work.[/hider]
[hider=I think, therefore I am]Well that was certainly creepy. Pacing could use work as it felt rather jumpy for me. Jolted me as a reader. Everything else was entertaining and inventive. But wow were there some good scenes in here. The shower scene was creepy and invasive. Finishing sentences and then coming down to that conclusion. Nothing much I had to criticize other than pace. Well done. [/hider]
[hider=Swordmaster]Looks like I won't make any comments on the ellipses as people already have. Honestly, I won't comment on them anymore, I promise! You like them, so you do you. Can't blame you, ellipses can be quite addictive. Anyway, on to the story. Your action writing can get a tad mechanical. I do like that you have more character thoughts in the midst of the battle (story in general, really). And it's almost stream of consciousness from the view of the Swordmaster. He's a murderer with a fragile mind it seems. The writing conveys that in the way it feels scattered. Perhaps not always my cup of tea, but when it's done right it can be very powerful. Sion intrigued me with his master mind. I'm pretty fond of those devious types of characters who can pull the rug from underneath just about anyone. There's a lot of telling in his scene with the child. About what he's doing, why he's doing it. Leave something to the imagination would be my advice. That scene with the child should be chilling, spine-tinglingly horrifying and unsettling. But I don't get to see or feel that. I'm told a lot of things that could be conveyed through action, visuals, dialogue that's not on the nose. Lots of creativity and potential for deep, fascinating characters.  [/hider]