In a train speeding through the desert, carrying the mail and a number of passengers, trouble was brewing. With a FWEEEEEEEN, a laser cut through the hinges on the door as a squirrelly purple [url=http://orig01.deviantart.net/6b4a/f/2011/018/e/3/alien_outlaw_by_rpartridge-d37hn30.png] alien[/url] in ratty pants, duster, and a wide hat kicked it down, blowing the red-hot tip of its raygun as the passenger car erupted in panic. Behind him came a [url=http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/34722/Harrowed.jpg]skeletal undead[/url] in a duster with two revolvers still in their holster, a wide-brimmed hat, and eyes glowing a sickly white. Finally came the most unusual of the bandits, [url=http://www.bunrab.com/dailyfeed/dailyfeed_images_april-06/daily_apr27_2006_pickle.jpg]what seemed to be a sentient pickle[/url] the size of a large human male, wearing crossed bandoliers, a sombrero, and moustache.

"OKAY GRINGOS, LISTEN UP! THIS IS A STICKUP! STEP ONE: SHUT THE FUCK UP! STEP TWO: VALUABLES OUT. STEP THREE: PUT YOUR VALUABLES INTO THE SACK AND YOU PENDEJOS MIGHT JUST GET OUTTA HERE WITHOUT GETTIN' PROBED WITH A CLASS THREE PLASMA DEVICE!"

As he move to open the sack and point the raygun at a well-dressed young woman, a voice came from behind him, stern and deep.

"Not today, evildoer! I'm going to make sure the only views you get are three iron bars!"

The alien jerked around, nearly jumping out of his skin. All he saw was an open window, looking out over the passing desert. Well, that and a rapidly approaching fist. With a mighty [b]BIFF![/b] the punched the alien clean on his back as [url=http://www.previewsworld.com/catalogimages/STK_IMAGES/STK520001-540000/STK529261.jpg]a strangely clad man[/url] burst from what should have been an empty vista and socked the alien in its nose. Shaking his fist as the Harrowed scrambled for his pistols and the pickle lifted a massive sandwich like a greatsword, the ridiculous-looking man pointed with his free hand to each of the bandits in turn.

"Okay, I think I got this. The alien's what passes for the pretty one, the pickle's the big tough stupid one, and the zombie's got the weird powers. As for me, I go by- Open Window Man!" 

The two remaining bandits didn't bother answering, as the undead gunslinger began firing, his guns releasing strange puffs of white light- the effects of a Huckster casting spells on their weapons in the Deadlands. Just as the guns were fired, however, Open Window Man pulled the window frame from around his head and neck, holding it up- and letting the bullets pass through to a the view from the open window he'd appeared from. Running forward, he brought the side of the window frame against the Harrowed's temple, watching as it staggered over to the window. With a shove, the Harrowed was falling through a portal into a jail cell. Whistling to himself, he seemingly didn't notice the approaching pickle... before he grabbed the sandwich and performed a judo throw that sent the pickle through the window. Taking a large bite out of the immaculately prepared sandwich, he was left to wonder why a pickle bandito would try to weaponize it. He picked up the alien and threw it out of the window, watching it fall into the prison cell through the dimensional portal, as he walked around returning valuables to their rightful owners.

"Remember, citizens! If you're ever in grave danger, just Dial "H" for "HERO!""

As soon as he waved goodbye, Open Window Man took a running leap out the train's window...

[hr]
Open Window Man appeared in the sheriff's office, dusting off his hands and looking at the pile of prisoners in the cell. The sheriff looked from the pile of bandits now unconscious from their fall to the weirdo in the tights. He shrugged and took down the wanted posters, reaching for the reward money.

"No need for a reward, sir. Superheroes don't get into this business for the pay."

Raising an eyebrow, the sheriff proceeded to put the reward money- a few hundred dollars, all told- on the desk. Sighing, Open Window Man took the cash. He'd probably give it to a charity or something. For now, the most important part: Eating the sandwich, and thus disarming the pickle. Though it took at least twenty minutes, Open Window Man managed to eat his way through the three-foot sandwich. Superheroics were hungry work, after all! And with another running leap, this time through the window of the sheriff's office...

[hr]
...and into the latrines behind the outhouse. Holding his nose, he grumbled, dialing the code to return to normal.

O! R! E! H! When this mystical sequence is put into an H-Dial, the powers are lost and the transformation is broken, allowing the user to return to their normal form! A responsible hero only uses their powers for good, and always gives them back when the battle is over. Now all that was left was to head in and use this bounty money to buy some drinks. He pocketed the H-Dial and entered the saloon, making his way to the bar.

[i]Let's see... delicious sandwich, foiling a train robbery, reward money for a noble cause, AND I got to be an actually useful hero this time! Off to a good start![/i]