EVERYONE, BAD NEWS. THE SUN IS ON FIRE. I REPEAT, THE SUN IS ON FIRE. I AM COMPLETELY FUCKING SERIOUS, THAT SHIT IS LIKE SOLAR NAPALM AND ITS ON OUR DAMN SUN! HUMANITY IS FUCKED! JUST LOOK AT THAT SHIT. CAN'T YOU SEE HOW HOT IT IS? ITS HOTTER THAN HELL AND THAT ONE PICTURE OF EMMA WATSON IN QUESTIONABLE CLOTHING AND IN AN EVEN MORE QUESTIONABLE POSE THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND AGAIN.
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I REPEAT, WE ARE ALL FUCKED. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO STOP THE APOCALYPSE? SINCE WE REALLY FUCKING NEED TIPS RIGHT NOW! DO IT FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY! WILL YOU ALLOW IT TO TAKE OVER YOUR LIVES, YOUR FAMILIES, YOUR LIFE SAVINGS, YOUR FREEDOM? EVEN IF YOU CAN'T PROVIDE TIPS, AT LEAST PRAY DAMMIT! PRAY TO SOMEONE, PRAY TO ANYONE, EVEN PRAY TO THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER, CUTHULU, MAHZ OR THAT ONE MOTHERFUCKER FROM SCIENTOLOGY! PRAY YE BASTRADS, PRAY!