[quote=@Monochromatic Rainbow]Oxymoron alert.[/quote]
It's basically this

>be hedon
>living in my own land
>it's pretty small (only a million acres) but I don't mind living modestly as long as I have freedom
>last few months have been pretty boring, I haven't even been able to visit other lands
>their owners haven't yet decided to sign a contract allowing me temporary physical occupation of their property
>business has been tough, a lot of employees haven't been able to cover their innovation quotas so I kicked them out
>I hope they are fine, I actually care a lot about people, that's why I donate to charity
>like that time I donated a penny to that charity contest
>it would decide who would occupy the new vacancy at mr. shekelton's foundry
>how generous of mr. shekelton to offer his employment capacity to the charity
>thanks to men like him we live in this utopia
>walking around the limits of my property I see a man lying horizontally on neighbor land
>he looks malnourished and is covered in rags, he is probably an employee of the property owner
>I yell at him "you lazy bum, you should get back to work!"
>"don't you see how ungrateful of you it is to do nothing when the graceful owner of this property has generously allowed you to make a living working for him?"
>he replies "sir, I actually am not an employee of the…"
>he couldn't finish the sentece, I had already shot him in the head
>how dare he violate another person's property
>nearby workers of the land look at me with hate in their eyes
>I am not worried, they won't try anything funny
>they know that any attempt to violate the NAP will be met with instant airstrikes from the non-statist private property protection agency
>I tell you, we could never have achieved such efficiency if we had to consider "workers' rights" like a state would have forced us to
>I go back to my mansion where I live by myself, even though I occassionally get visits from female employees, if you know what I mean
>getting laid has never been easier since capitalism figured it could use women like property and currency
>just another way capitalism makes life better for everyone
>I get a notification on my surveillance device, which I use to keep track of my employees
>Smith-36 will turn 18 today, how splendid
>tonight I will probably visit the family
>I'll be sure to bring the customary birthday omelette and the contract where she must sign in herself for life
>it's just a little device I figured to prevent the eventuality of employees leaving for an employer that will offer them a better deal
>certainly, only through voluntaryism can a person enter any contract he wants, just another wonder of ancapistan
>oh boy, I remember the first time I introduced that contract
>there was a huge outrage, but I told them that I would fire those who didn't accept, so they signed the contract voluntarily
>matters have been so simple ever since
>sometimes I just sell some employees (or their children) to another capital owner
>sometimes I take the cute ones to my "private" "property", lol I'm such a playa, I got game theory hoe
>so anyway, on my way back to my mansion I find a crowd gathered around an old employee
>he is having a stoke, probably from exhaustion and his poor diet
>well, if he wanted to eat anything more than junk food he should become an entrepreneur
>junk food is like minimum wage, it's not meant actually maintain a person, everybody knows that
>haha, minimum wage, good thing that went away with the state
>it's better this way, now people are paid what they are worth
>if employers pay employees less than their labor is worth, then they wouldn't accept the deal
>it's simple economics everyone can understand, unlike that "surplus" bullshit they love to babble on about
>anyway, Johnson-87 was lying on the ground, dying
>the rest demanded that I did something about it
>I answered that it wouldn't be profitable, his health was very deteriorated
>the cost of taking care of his health would surpass the profit his work would provide me the rest of his short life
>he lived to be 27, though, he shouldn't complain
>another employee calls me tyrant monster and threatens to organize a strike if I don't do something
>I fire him and then fire at him for standing on my property without permission
>I then leave, admittedly angry, at the nerve of those worthless, selfish assholes
>oh well, at least I've got enough property and profit to stay competitive in the market
>all is good in hedonist land
>inb4 wintergold scum tell me I'm dishonorable