Just wanted to swing back and claim my story, "So Much for the Woman." I was on vacation -- planes and boats and cars and even a horse, and I *barely* got done in time -- and never did get time to review anything yet, but I'm coming back for all of you now that I'm at my home computer and back on my own time. One real (REAL) quick response to reviews before I dive in:

[hider=so much for the woman]
Name confusion -- it was almost way, way worse. Luanne didn't even get a name until I was almost done with the hanging, and finally I decided she really needed one. Also 'Temmel' is a borrowed boss from one of my other stories, so it was confusing for me too while I was writing (actually if you go back to the first labor, his name shows up in that abomination I submitted).

Thematically, I mean, it's a western, and most of 'the point' is usually something along the lines of 'how a man acts.' Ames had a very peculiar moral code -- he was totally willing to stab his boss to death in his sleep, but not to sell him out to the law. I was trying to convey his misgivings about criminal life in general by showing him giving up the booze and waking up early for mornin' thinkin'.... Anyway there was a lot of 'coulda given up X at such-and-such a time and it would've worked out,' but he never could. At the same time Luanne was making morally gray choices too -- she could've had what she wanted too, if she'd just set Ames loose on Temmel, but she couldn't do it. I was trying to come at the challenge from both angles. Everyone would've been happier if the good person would get her hands dirty and/or the bad guy would clean up his act. Maybe that was the theme? It's complicated. [/hider]

also

[hider=swordmaster follow-up]The actions and dialogue and expositions -- all necessary -- were pretty much straight to the point. "I killed my parents. I wanted a challenge, but they weren't a challenge. I need to find another challenge, here's how, now I'll do it." [i]Again -- it totally worked for this story[/i], it's more of a personal preference and [i]occasionally[/i] consensus-opinion that character-driven scenes are more interesting -- so like, instead of saying 'Here's why I kill people, and now I'm going to set up a big fight,' you might have Nathaniel sitting in the tent, confused and angry, and the kid is scared poopless, just trying to not get stabbed, and gradually it comes out that Nathaniel has to set the stage for his greatest battle yet. I [i]hate[/i] suggesting totally different approaches like that -- [i]do not[/i] put any value in it at all, it's just an example of a different way to handle the same story. When I wrote 'more character development in an active way,' what I meant was a step or two away from the plot -- just two characters in a tent, being humans, and the friction between them, independent of the battle. It's narcissistic to even mention it but.... contrast 'so much for the woman' and 'swordmaster.' They both begin with one-on-one conversations leading up to a battle -- we handled them very differently. Since I'm me, eventually I'm always gonna tend to like my way better -- that's all it is I guess.[/hider]