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Hestia set off from the gates of Paradise Falls, accompanied by a great lumbering Brahmin that was piled high with crates full of different meats, snack cakes, bottles of Nuka Cola, and other supplies to help the young woman through her trek. An irradiated wind howled mercilessly past her as she wadded over cracked and blistering soil, sending her blonde tresses billowing back behind her. The Brahmin proved to be one of the more domesticated sorts, plodding along loyally behind Hestia as she made her way gradually through the Graveyard. Her legs ached regularly, and her rumbling stomach seemed to provide the constant booming backing track for her journey, so progress over the bleak earth was slow at best, with regular stops to feast and recuperate.

Great rocky mounds littered the desolate landscape, dotted with the withered remains of long dead blackened and sickly trees, their leafless branches extending outwards into nothingness. Pools of putrid water lay still in the gapping pot holes which sunk into the crumbling ground, and the odd rickety shack or abandoned cave supplied shelter for Hestia and her Brahmin on their frequent rest breaks. 

The dim sun was poking through a blanket of foggy grey clouds when the young woman reached the Drowned Devil’s Crossing, her faithful Brahmin wheezing drearily as it trudged along behind her, blowing air out through its duel heads. The bridge itself had broken into several sections over the years, some of which were mere inches from tumbling into the greenish waters below it, which made the prospect of crossing the bridge even less enticing to the portly slaver. 

Hestia was awkwardly trying to lead her Brahmin over the loose stone bridge when raiders appeared, slipping out from behind the trees and rocks which ran along either side of the riverbank. 

“Careful now, Missy.” A dark-skinned bandit called out to her, springing onto the bridge with a big grin plastered across his hard face and a revolver clutched in one hand, as he came striding towards her. “Things could get real messy real quickly.”  

“You appear to have caught me with my pants thoroughly down, good sir.” Hestia shouted back, one fat hand tied loosely around the harness she was using to guide her Brahmin along. 

Two more raiders, great big hulking giants of men, fell in beside their comrade, and Hestia could hear muffled footsteps creeping up behind her. 

“Should’ve known better than to go stomping across the Devil’s Crossing, little lady.” The dark-skinned one scolded with a sneering laugh. 

“Too busy stuffing your face to pay attention to the world around you, huh?” a voice called out from behind her, eliciting a few laughs from the other raiders. 

“Sure beats getting all tired and dusty out here,” Hestia said with a loose shrug “There’s enough sand up my arse crack right now to make a sculpture.” 

The dark-skinned raider smirked slightly “I must say; you’re being awfully calm about this whole messy business. It’s a real breath of fresh air.” 

“Well,” Hestia remarked coolly “I don’t know what’s going to happen yet.” 

“Then allow me to be kind enough to walk you through it all, my porky princess.” The dark-skinned one shot back “based off of past experiences.”  

He cocked back the hammer on his revolver, aiming it squarely at her head. 

“First, me and my boys are gonna come over there and give you a real careful pat down. We ain’t ever had ourselves a fat chick before, and I wanna see if you’re as blonde down under as you are on top.” He took a few more slow steps towards her, showing off his sharp yellow teeth. 

“Then we’re gonna put a bullet in your brain and cook ourselves a great big bowl of white girl. We’ll probably keep all the important bits around until they got rotten, as –you see- it can get real lonely and tiresome out on these great big winding road that us depraved souls call home.” 

“Thanks for clearing that one up.” Hestia said casually. 

“I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation, little missy.” The dark-skinned bandit hissed, his brow furrowing. He was looking for precisely the reaction that she wasn’t giving him. 

“Maybe I need you to come over here and spell it out for me.” She cooed, making a drawn-out wanking gesture at him. 

“I’m gonna punch that smile right off of your fat cunt face!” He snarled, stomping towards her…

And straight on to the rusty old mine she’d placed under a smattering of little pebbles. 

His boot-clad foot pressed down on the explosive with a mechanical thud, right before the ensuing detonation sent it flying off in the other direction. Shrapnel came raining down on the bridge, and a plume of smoke spilled out across it in a great cloud of dust. 

Hestia slung her combat shotgun off of her shoulder and fired two rounds off into the fog, which were promptly met with a satisfying wet squelching sound. 

[i]Move quickly. Keep the momentum going. Don’t fuck this one up[/i] 

She spun on her heel, turning to face the other bandits who’d come creeping up from behind her. 

One of them, a scrawny Latino, raised his handgun and fired off a few shots, which whizzed straight into one of her Brahmin’s chunky leg muscles. The great cattle let out an irritated grunt, but otherwise stayed put, having been trained and bred to deal with such conditions. 

Hestia raised her shotgun, letting off a powerful blast which hurtled through the air in an eye blink, smashing in to one of the raider’s chests and knocking him to the floor, dark red blood bubbling in his open mouth. 

The young woman fired again, her shotgun letting out a booming steely clang which rang out into the surrounding area, blowing the head clean off of another bandit, a fountain of gore spurting out of his bloodied stump as his limp body tumbled softly to the floor. 

A bullet flew past her ear, an inch away from ripping straight through it, prompting Hestia to blast a bloody gash straight through the shoulder of the last raider standing. He let out a sharp scream and went stumbling backwards, tumbling over the ruined bridge and down down down into the waters below. 

Hestia came swaggering through the smoke, her Brahmin plodding along behind her, to find the dark-skinned raider clutching at his mangled stump of a leg, propped up against the twisted bodies of his fallen brothers-in-arms. 

“You need to get some women in your gang.” Hestia laughed “they’d have been smart enough not to go wandering on to an active mine.” 

“F-fuck you, b-b-bitch.” He hissed through gritted teeth, his nails digging into his charred flesh. 

“I think you’re going have to factor that part out of your little plan.” She said down at him, offering up her sweetest smile. “Heck, for all I know you magic flute just got blown clean off.” 

“G-g-reat o-o-old lumberin’ beast like you won’t m-m-m-make it another d-d-ay out here.” He spat, his pain-raked body shaking and twitching. 

“I dunno,” Hestia smirked “I reckon I’ve got the hips for it.” She struck a quick pose, placing her chubby hands on either side of her huge flabby waist. 

“This w-r-w-r-w-retched f-fuckin’ p-p-place is a great big jungle of hate, built on the r-ruins of the d-d-dead.” He snarled, coughing up a mouthful of dark red droplets “It’ll c-c-chew you right up and s-p-s-p-s-pit you back out again.” 

“Even a cute little thing like me?!” Hestia gasped mockingly, placing one hand over het plump mouth. 

The bandit let out a sharp cackle, spraying blond across the crumbling concrete bridge “Y-y-you g-gonna die, w-w-whore.” 

“We’re all gonna die someday,” she shrugged “but now just ain’t my time, honey.” 

She picked all their corpses clean, leaving the dark-skinned raider to bleed out, howling curses after her as she strode off into Graveyard with her Brahmin trundling behind her, a song in her step and a whistle on her lips.