I read 3 of the 4 stories now. I'm sorry [@mdk], I didn't get a chance to read yours yet. I don't have much feedback to give, but at least I can point out what I liked and didn't like. Grammar-wise I don't have anything to say unless there are some really obvious mistakes. I tend to read over small mistakes. [hider=A clash of Archers and Busters] I get it's heavily abbreviated and truncated, but it's hard to get into the story this way. It isn't until the morphing time when the story picks up, but since we didn't get to know the characters in the first part, it's still hard to sympathize with any of them. I'm not sad Yumi leaves, my heart doesn't ache for the main character who will lose the love of his life. And that's a shame, I want to feel those things when reading a story. I've argued before that in the first place we have to clear the challenge and writing a great story is second, so for the labour this doesn't matter. From a personal view I would have liked to see the full story. I must say, the battle was done fantastic. It's full of action, it's easy to visualize the attacks and it had a nice flow to it. The ending was strong, even without really getting to know them. The way he accepted his defeat was and how they shared their sadness was well done. [/hider] [hider=Upgrade] I liked this story. We get all the necessary information and the descriptions were detailed enough to paint a clear picture. Even without getting to know the characters, the exchange between the friends is wonderful. This story proves it doesn't have to be long to be good. Well done. [/hider] [hider=The right decision] I don't know the metal gear solid universe, so yeah. For a story in this setting they don't seem to have much difficulties getting through and because of this the first part isn't really thrilling to read. And the two trained soldiers seem slightly unprofessional. Their aim is good, but we have Vulcer who flirts with Miriel on duty and Miriel who seems to think it's a good idea to just keep talking when her partner hushes her in an enemy environment. And they talk a lot while being inside the enemy base, it would have made more sense if they had talked in hushed tones or whispers, you know, keeping their voices down. The flashback to the mission briefing is a bit awkwardly placed, that should be a new paragraph rather than following the comment of the defences directly. At first it seemed Viria was talking to Vulcer, a bit of an introduction like 'Vulcer thought back to' would have made it better. This sentence: “If possible, let me shoot those that we have no choice but to shoot unless we have no other choice”, is one sentence that stood out, it's a bit awkwardly worded, for lack of a better word. There is something I miss in the end. Since Vulcer had a slightly personal reason to go after Von Serge and both he and Miriel are strapped to explosives, he is surprisingly laid-back about the whole situation. They're talking and smiling like old friends. That is a bit off with the information presented earlier. I know he is the good guy, but I think I would have liked him more if he wouldn't be the eternal good guy at the end and show some anger or hatred towards Von Serge. It would have made it more real too. I know the challenge asked for a person free of vice, but I don't think justified anger is a real vice. Other emotions would have worked too, or a struggle of some sorts, but he smiles a lot in the that part as if it doesn't matter. That doesn't help to feel for Vulcer as he sits there. The ending is wonderfully tragic with the countdown, that part had some suspension in it. While the story overall isn't particularly thrilling for the setting they're in, the interaction between the characters is amusing, even if it comes across as a bit unprofessional :) I liked how Vulcer did fall in love with Miriel and I like the idea of a merciful, vegetarian trained soldier who doesn't kill his enemies. It's not what you'd expect. [/hider]