Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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ClocktowerEchos Friendly Neighborhood / Landmine Enthusiast

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The Passion of Christ - Contradictory to its name, its actually not a Christian porno
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by HaleyTheRandom
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HaleyTheRandom ☣ Hurricane Eyes ☣

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Divergent- Rip off of Harry Potter set in Chicago, USA, after the government falls in order for the society to have a action packed way of telling kids everywhere that it's not okay to be different and give teen girls everywhere that it's okay to fall in love with 20 something year old guys.

Do me a favor and watch CinemaSins review of it on youtube. You'll enjoy it.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by mdk
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mdk 3/4

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Jurassic World -- This man has his priorities straight.

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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Vilageidiotx
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Vilageidiotx Jacobin of All Trades

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Jurassic World -- This man has his priorities straight.



That man was actually Jimmy Buffet.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Smosh: The Movie -
It's sort of like Dumb and Dumber. We have two idiots who have been best friends for their entire lives and one of them is obsessed with a chika. They venture on some journey for a purpose. However, instead of them doing it cross-country in a poodle-covering van, they venture into youtube to stop an embarrassing video from being seen by their high school graduating class at their reunion. So, in other words, it's a lot better than Dumb and dumber because this movie is actually funny.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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Pacific Rim: Get ready for one hell of a rim job
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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Get Hard: Similiar to the Passion of Christ, its actually not an interracial homosexual porno
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Meredith
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Sicario - Like Edge of Tomorrow but like, Mexican?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Meredith
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Meredith

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Goosebumps - Jack Black is R.L. Stine. That's the only goosebumps I got. Not the good kind.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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AlteredTundra

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Furious 7 - Oh yay, another film filled with ass shots, Vin Diesal's deep snarls, and lots and lots of Cars getting rektd. Oh, one more thing:

LA FAMILIA
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by mdk
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007: Spectre -- We fired the stunt coordinator, and spent his whole budget on two really big explosions, because that's always been the best part of Daniel Craig's movies, right? Right? ....right? Also, turns out the bad guys from the first movie worked for the bad guys from the second movie who worked with the bad guys from the third movie for the bad guys in the fourth movie, and btw the second movie didn't happen anymore, and somehow it's all because skiing.

Watch it. This is a remarkably accurate plot summary, and you only think I'm kidding.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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The Gift: If there's one thing that this movie will teach you is that lying is bad. Always tell the truth. Oh and Joel Edgarton is one seriously fucked up individual. That is all.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Eden Hazard
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007: Spectre -- We fired the stunt coordinator, and spent his whole budget on two really big explosions, because that's always been the best part of Daniel Craig's movies, right? Right? ....right? Also, turns out the bad guys from the first movie worked for the bad guys from the second movie who worked with the bad guys from the third movie for the bad guys in the fourth movie, and btw the second movie didn't happen anymore, and somehow it's all because skiing.

Watch it. This is a remarkably accurate plot summary, and you only think I'm kidding.


So accurate, it hurts.

My spleen!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Toy Story 3: If Hitler was a big, pink bear and the main crew from the previous films were Jews.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by HaleyTheRandom
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MockingJay Part 2: #GirlHasMentalBreakDownOverCat2k15

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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Stuck In Love - If The Fault In Our Stars was about being cynical about love, instead of having some life-ending disease.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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AlteredTundra

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Twilight Film Franchise: A love story about an emotionless teenaged girl, a 100 year-old, emotionless, teenaged-looking vampire, and a dog.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by tsukune
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tsukune In Parodyse

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Twilight Film Franchise: A love story about an emotionless teenaged girl, a 100 year-old, emotionless, teenaged-looking vampire, and a dog.

The Twilight Saga - Fem-Shell becomes obsessed over Sparkly-Vamp who stalks her in return. She then cheats on a dog who later falls in love with her (how did that happen?) baby.

In short? When you take the saying "love is blind" in extreme literal sense... What the hell.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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50 Shades of Grey - A man gets away with cult-like indoctrination and forces a woman to have hot kinky BDSM sex with him all because he's hot and wealthy. Still arguably a better love story than Twilight.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - Four kids come out of the closet.
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