Explain everyday things as humorously/laconically/simple as you can! :D

[b]Hockey[/b] - 12 grown men engaging in full contact figure skating and fighting over a hard, flat ball

[b]Orange Juice[/b] - Sadistically squeezing the life of citric fruit while not manically laughing like a mad man and getting away with (fruit) murder

[b]Tea[/b] - Perhaps the most racist drink of all time; took from China, grown in India, sweetened with sugar from the Caribbean and drunk by the British and drunk from China tea cups. Now available in iced varieties with Lemon, Peach and Raspberry flavours!

[b]Scented Candles[/b] - Lying, attention-seeking candles who do not taste like French Vanilla or Ocean Breeze and will burn your house down if you aren't careful

[b]White Boards[/b] - Do not mix with Sharpies

[b]Pants in a Washing Machine[/b] - Also do not mix with Sharpies

[b]The Mouths of Tiny Children[/b] - [i]Definitely[/i] do not with Sharpies