The difference is you guys are talking about novels with plots, where amoral things are part of some larger story. I've written about rape, castration, mass murder, the mutilation of children, but all in the context of war and political disorder. What Taaj is talking about is the type of romance novel where the relationship is the entire plot, and the entire point of the story is to titillate. It's more the literary equivalent of porn, where the plot is just a device to show the sexual stuff, rather than the sexual stuff being a method to advance the plot.

So, in that context, writing a rape fantasy to titillate is fucked up.