Granted you're sent back to the time of very first human and become an immortal but not ageless god, by the time 2016 comes around again you're so old that every cell of your body is in constant pain, you have a heart attack every two minutes,and you're senile to the point where a newborn baby seems more intelligent and coherent than you.

I wish that the person granting this wish explodes without harming me, my friends and my family or my stuff.