[@silverlucario5]

Ok I read it. Yes you did better. Also, I suggest you write in third person. You are having the character describe the scenery and thats not good.  
	"Quite beautiful midsummer day, Ugh I'm getting off topic."  When you said this it cuts of the mental image in your head. 
	Describe the scenery. Show not tell.  One thing you could have said was. 
	The city was quiet this early morning. The only sounds were of birds chirping and blacksmiths coaxing their fires to life while the rooster crowed. As he jogged towards the stables Fang wondered what could have happened." 

	Secondly, pay attention to where I said Nia and Sebastion were. Sebastian wouldn't be inside a house, they are in a horse stables. You wrote of him going inside a house. Third, his friend wouldn't walk all the way to his house, thats not very realistic. What would have been more realistic was to have Fang go to relieve him of duty to find him lying injured on his post. Lastly, check your sentences. Some of what you write isn't in proper punctuation.