Secretly he's a demon and doesn't want them to find out yet, not until he's devoured their innocent souls. XD

Can't have pesky kids ruining your good time right? His sake and potato chips won't wait forever. And his show? Probably some awful network drama or a game show. Oh it's recording and he just likes to be a dick because he's old and it's fun. Trust me, when you wanna get the watch upgraded, he has some very questionable hoops to jump through...